Wednesday, May 5, 2010

toilet training

It has come to that time when my little one is telling me he is doing a poo. Yes, a bit personal, but something I am sure you have faced, if you are a parent that is! For those of you who are not parents, sorry about the poo talk!

We are not fully into toilet training, but Taj does like to let me know when it is happening or after the fact. We have successfully had four trips to the toilet, which he has loved. This is in the last week. However, we have come to a halt. Taj has decided that it is a little overrated and he would rather stay away from me when he has a dirty nappy. But then he has his moments when he does not even need to go and he is running for the toilet, putting the toilet insert on and starting to take off his pants. I am thinking he is obsessed with toilet flushing!

I toilet trained Keely quite young. She was very interested at 18 months and I went with the flow. We had our accidents here and there, but nothing to get concerned about. We still have some accidents today if she gets a little excited and she still wears a nappy to bed.

I think parents get scared of the whole toilet training stage, when really we should be going with the flow and go with what our children are telling us. So what if they are in nappies until they are 3. Who cares if your child is 4 and still wearing nappies to bed while their friends are not. There is this big perception that we have to have our little ones at the same stages with their individual developments. I find this mother olympics quite interesting as we all compete to have the child that is out in front. When really we should be sitting back and enjoying watching our children develop at their pace. They grow up so fast that the time we stress about their development compared to the child standing next to them we could be enjoying being a parent and spending time loving their accomplishments.

I know when I first joined my mother's group I was a little overwhelmed. There was a lady in our group who was talking about sleeping and how she was reading 3 different books, each saying different things. She continued to talk about how stressed she was as she did not know what was the "right" thing for her to do. This was the moment where I decided that I would not buy any books to help with my parenting. Especially to buy 3 that conflict with each other! In the end I have learnt that being a mother is a beautiful time. It is a time we should enjoy, even all the chaos and tears that come with parenting. There are so many lovely moments that they create; it is time to enjoy being a mummy! I am sure the lady in our mother's group is a fantastic mum. We are all trying to do the best we can for our children, and that is what she was doing.

I am not sure when Taj will be toilet trained, and if I am going to push it a little. For now I am going to enjoy watching him obsess over flushing the toilet, hiding from me when he has done a poo, and enjoy those moments where he does do a poo on the toilet.

Enjoy being a mum or dad!


  1. Oh, so cute your little one!!!!!
    Many regards, Yvonne

  2. your kids are so gorgeous! So over the mother Olympics...women need to stop comparing themselves with each other!
    looking forward to a bit of a little pinwheel winter shop in the not too distant future too...too many gorgeous things!
    ♥ Alissa

  3. I totally agree with you re parenting books! I read the bible for my parenting direction & there are two basic instructions in there. Children obey/respect your parents, and parents be loving and consistent,being sure not to discourage them. They've worked so far! Each little baby is so different. I have one twin ready to t-train and the other not ready (running from the flush in fear -lol) so juggling that at the moment! Thanks for your lovely reflections on parenting Hayley. x

  4. I'm a parenting book reader cos I love to consult different sources in order to clarify my own opinion - I do that with everything in my life let alone parenting! I wish I could trust my instincts more but in the end I do go with what I feel is right after considering things.

    I'm "fighting" with my Mum & Grandma at the moment cos they think the Bebito is ready for toilet training when he is showing no signs of it whatsoever. I just know it's not the right time for him.

    You are completely right though, it's about enjoying the moments instead of rushing through each stage.

    Thanks for another great and reflective post.


  5. I wholehearetdly agree, I think that with parenting our kids tell us when they are ready for things. Love the new changes to you places aswell. I wish my place was as tidy.

  6. Oh I know what you mean about those books, I threw mine away when I got upset about Luke not meeting his milestones when he was "supposed to". My boys take their time doing everything, talking, walking, eating lovely food (still working hard on that one) and toilet training, Luke still has accidents and sleeps in a npayy and he turns 5 in a fortnight. Jack well, as long as I take him every hour and reward his with a chocolate he will wee in the toilet but not poo, he is 3.5 in a month and he is at preschool. Just going with the flow is the only way I don't increase the amount of wrinkles I already have.
    Hope your day is going well.

  7. Hi Hayley, this is not really related to your post, but I really love your photography (especially the images that kind of look like the old polaroids) do you do this??? Any tips. I would love to capture some beautiful moments with my daughter.

  8. Having been through it three times I can honestly say that in each case I took the "if it's hard it's not the right time" approach - even if that meant going back to nappies (which the books all say you shouldn't do).

    Good for you for believing in your own instincts...I've read all the books and then do what feels right to me (and thanksfully my husband supports me).

  9. Hi Georgie, this is an embarrassing question to answer, only because these particular images are using my iphone! I bought an application that my brother in law uses and loves. I bought it to have so when I did not have my camera and there were moments to capture I still could using my phone. I find other then this photographing your children in natural light is the best. Sometimes this is hard to do if you do not have an area in your home that has natural light. When the images do not come out the best I use some fun pre sets I set up to touch up my images. This helps make the not so good images look ok.

    I have been getting some images together over the past few days using this application on the iphone to show off in a post. I am glad you like them, and I hope you have an iphone now! If you need anymore help or tips, I am happy to help.

    Take care!

  10. I think it's great how you just go with your intuition and not worry about what the books say. It's so much easier that way – don't you think?

    That's what we're doing here, and it feels right. When it feels wrong, we will change how we do things. It's simple and makes so much sense.

    I start mothers group tomorrow. I'm nervous and a bit reluctant, but figure it won't hurt!

  11. Hayley, you are the most amazing mum. It is from you that I have learnt to love being the Mum that I am. I am not a "power mum" and my three year old daughter still wears a nappy and has a bottle. We are toilet training and she does eat her solids, but I am not interested in the battle of trying to wean her. I always felt embassased in front of other mum's, but you have shown me that I am not alone in my parenting style and allowed me to feel proud of who I am and how I parent. Thank you Hayley. I know we have never met, but you have changed my life as a mum. You are an amazing woman. xxox

  12. LOVING your photo's in this post hayley! and bloody hell, can taj get any cuter?! love his outfits (of course) xx



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