Friday, September 14, 2012

the little and the lady

The last blog post. You would think I wouldn't really know what to say, and you would actually be right. How do you say thank you to people you do not even know. How do you thank people for reading your words to help you through moments in your life. To say thank you for coming along for the ride of my life

When I think about the book I would like to write, I think about the things I have learnt in life, and truly they are the same lessons we all learn. The past few weeks I have stared at this blog, and thought really hard about what I wanted to write, and share. The thing is, I have had nothing. What am I going to say when everything is just like your own personal day? I get up with little people, either already asleep in my bed with their cute noses squished right into my face, or buried into my chest, or I hear the tip toes of little feet before the sun kisses the ocean. I rise as bubbly as possible. (You cannot help but wear a smile instantly, little people have that affect on you). I make us all breakfast, shower, rock the school lunch, clean up, I might throw on some washing, and then I tackle the little people. They play around the chaos, and then we roll with the dressing, brushing our chops, and rock it off to school. I will run, come home and play superman into lady threads, go to barefoot for my daily caffeine, and people watching. Pack orders, answer emails, go home for computer work, lunch, and go back for more orders, and the school pickup. Then comes the dinner routine.

Are you bored yet?

Cause I think that would be my posts if I stuck around here. I am just like you. I now have a "normal" life. With minimal struggles. Just the everyday stuff and things we all have. I have the everyday mother moments, business moments, however I no longer have the inner struggles. I am truly happy. No one wants to hear all awesome. It is not as intriguing. I just become your everyday groundhog day blogger. And I don't want to be that. I am not her. I am no vege growing, awesome mum, with the perfect house, and husband. {I sometimes wish I was her}! I am just me, growing orchids, some succulents, (some of which are not looking so crash hot), with two little people, and my own personal ability to run, and juggle a business at the same time. I am the woman that does not have the husband, that would love nothing more than to have someone to love. However I am also happy rolling with solo, until of course the home becomes silent with sleeping little people, and I feel somewhat alone again. I also believe that is life. We all become lonely at times, and it can even be those of you that have the husband or the companion. That is life.

So the book. That book I will one day write, be it for me, or for you. It will be about the journey of becoming more. Using those things in life that I have learnt, accepting this lady that I am, accepting the stolen child innocence, giving back to those who also have a stolen childhood, running for so much more than just me. It is about running towards something, no longer running away. You can throw grief at me, you can throw abuse, and I will find my way out.

I believe the grief out of anything in my life has been the hardest to bare. To lose my mother was something that almost tore me apart. I stood on my own day after day in the same spot. Staring at the ocean, and wanting her to come back. I wanted to jump in the ocean, and swim, and swim until I could no longer swim. Sink. Right to the bottom, and have my mum back. To be in that dark place, and to come out of it with a positive spin on life is something I would love to give back. So this lady is going to live her groundhog life, with her little people, her friends, her running legs, businesses, and live it our way, with our cards held close to my chest. 

If you see us, come and say hi. You know I am Hayley, not just the little pinwheel lady, or the lady pinwheel. I am me too!

The images that Lisa took, I believe sum us up. Lisa captured the real us. The personalities shine through, and to have these candid images of the three of us is something I will cherish forever. Lisa captured the opening of a new book. I cannot wait to have her back next year. To see what life we have written in these pages of our lives. {check out what Lisa had to say here}

I am a motherless daughter. I am a survivor of sexual abuse, a runner, and I am one awesome single mother that tells her story through words, images, and the smiles on her little people's faces. That is me. 

Rock your day. Rock your life, and come and say hi over at the new blog when it is ready. I have changed the new blog. Having one built for me. I will share it here once it is finished.




{this school holidays Keely and I are going to make a vege garden on our balcony. I too can be the mum blogger with the vege patch in my own way! Yesterday I started my straight teeth smile. Life is pretty awesome}!

take care, and rock on! x

Sunday, August 26, 2012

bye bye little :: hello the little & the lady

Today marks second last written blog post here. I have decided that it is time to move on from this media of blogging. The last blog post will be the family images we had taken over the weekend by Lisa, from Paper Nest Photography. The images will be ready in a couple of weeks, and a great way to kick off our life, just for us. 

This lady has shared a lot. I have shared it in a way that I would hope was with a whole lot of dignity, with also allowing you to see that I am a normal person that too has struggles in life, and really awesome times. I feel that now I need to stretch my business savvy head, and really push both of the dreams that I started, and keep that side of my life very much alive to see. I love photography, I love fashion, and I love all that my business brings for me. It is not about the money, it is about the things I personally get out of it. I will now start the little and the lady blogpurely business. Very much a photo blog to show off the little and the lady pinwheel. A place to see some personal images, however only if we are wearing the threads from the little and the lady.

My little people light up my world. They truly have been the back bones of this business, and the personal blog. My mum, even though she is not here was my biggest inspiration to starting the little pinwheel blog, and this was a place where I felt I could come and write to her in a sense. It was a place to show her that I am doing the best I can, which is all she could ever hope for. I launched little pinwheel on her birthday, lady pinwheel around the time of her anniversary of her passing. There is a lot of my mum within these businesses, and I am grateful for everything she taught me in life. Now I have a huge understanding of when it is time to hold those cards close to my chest.

The things I have shared, I have no regrets, and never will. I helped people with sharing about my abuse; women who never told anyone shared. I survived that part of my life, and I will one day give back to those other survivors or victims in more than just words. The friends I have made through this blog is amazing, and completely blows me away that you can make a friend through written words. One friend, who I met in the playground over three years ago, said to me once, "Hayley I do not read your blog, as I like the Hayley I know, and the one that shares her life with me." Those words, well they kind of hit home, and those friends that are in my life know me in a whole different light. There are some friends I have kept things from in the fear of judgement, but I am learning that those friends actually want to know everything about me. They want to know the good things, and be happy that I am feeling awesome, and they want to be there when I need help. I believe they deserve my time. (That is a part of my personality I am trying to change. My mum was the same. She rarely asked for help, and I am beginning to realise, that it is best to ask, and it is also best to open up to the people you love. They are not going to hurt you, or judge you. If they do, well I understand too from what my mum taught me, friends come and go in your life. Your true friends you can count on one hand, and if you can fill that hand, you are doing well).

There are moments in our lives that you will not know the ending to. Keely and her bed wetting, which I know some of you would like to know the results on how we go with the natural approach. I am sure that Nat will post something about it on her blog, as she is the one helping us. My teeth, well you will see the finished smile on my other blog when I smile big for Lady Pinwheel in photo shoots, or if you walk past me in the street, I will crack you a big straight pearly white smile! The running, well you just need to know that my name will pop up somewhere, and maybe you will see me in a race. I may not make it in the big time, but this lady plans on giving back with her ability to run. The main thing is, I love it, and I won't stop running, and striving for those goals. {I might even write that book one day. I was told I could write my way through the rest of my life, and I will in some way. If it be a book, or in my own personal book at home}.

I am happy; the happiest I have ever been in my life. There are things I would love to change about myself, but I think I am starting to accept that I am not perfect, and not everyone is going to like me. I would love more than anything to find love, and so would my little people. Keely talks about it a lot, which I find is very sweet. For now, I am going to roll with our lives as the lady with two beautiful little people, concentrate on the people around me that mean more than they will ever know, learn how to ask for help, read more, run like the wind, and inspire to be a great success in the little and the lady pinwheel. 

Thank you again to Lisa for taking our family photos. It will be nice to see the candid images, to see our little life the way we spend it every saturday we have together, and to show you all how happy I truly am, and my little people are too. I will share them here as soon as I receive them, as my final personal blog post.

I am blessed to have had this space to share my ups and downs. I am blessed to feel no judgement, and I hope you come and visit the new blog to see what is happening with the little and the lady pinwheel. It is time to see in front of the lens, instead of behind it.

Thank you for your comments over the years, the emails, and the friendships.

Take care,

Hayley x

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

my missie munster and little munster

The way we roll sometimes is all about the chaos. It is fitting things in when you truly do not have the time to fit them in, and somehow completely pulling it off. I was on Skype this morning with my ace friend, Karen, and at the same time as talking to her I was cooking porridge, cleaning up, and then getting organised for a photo shoot before school drop off. Karen stuck around, sat on the table, and watched what we do with this part of our little pinwheel life.

I would not have it any other way. I guess when you really want to get things done, you just find the time. It may not be about good time management, mostly just a freak of nature in this home! And with that freak of nature, we capture moments that I know I will treasure forever. 

The best thing I find with photographing my little people, is that the one image you think is going to suck ends up being the best image. Taj rolling around on the floor, and snap, a moment captured that shows both of their personalities.

Keely is sporting a new long bob haircut, and an awesome straight bang, (fringe). Love her confidence!

Rock your week. We are blessed to have a photographer offer to take images of us doing our thing on the weekend. I cannot wait to see the results, and for someone to capture our candid moments as a little family. I also have a race on sunday, and I feel the best I have felt in the past 18 months of training. Good headspace, an awesome coach, amazing supportive friends, and the two most beautiful little people will drive me to run well on Sunday, and lead me into the more important race next month.

I cannot wait to write the blog post that says I am a success in running. I am not sure what will make me that success, but I am sure I will personally know when that comes. I think right now it is the belief that will get me over that line. Even this weekend to run well, not necessarily break any personal records, just to carry that strong head, and run with that smile on my face will be the start of the personal success.

Monday, August 20, 2012

the perfect piece

Simple words back and forth with a friend, and something just clicks in the head. Life is like this puzzle we continually pull apart and put back together. At times the whole puzzle changes, and you are left with a new challenge in life. A whole new scene, and a new level of change. 

As my friend said, "you are a lucky lady...." And that I am. The reason is that I have the two most beautiful little people. You take everything else away from me. You put me on the street, with nothing else in my possession, except my little guy in one hand, and my girl in the other, and I will survive. I still have my running legs, they are part of me, and I don't need the shoes or the clothes on my back to run. I can run without them.

Sometimes we need to look at the puzzle we are working on, and realise that those pieces that you still have on the side are not always that important. If you have the main picture, you do not need anymore. Maybe you already have the perfect life? 

Then of course there are the missing pieces. We all have them. They can symbolise the things you would love to have in life, or the things, or people you have lost in life. I guess when it comes down to it, there is no perfect puzzle. Although I would like to believe there is that perfect piece that fixes the whole picture.

I hope you find your perfect piece.

{this post is for my beautiful friend Sophie, who lost her mother in law last night to cancer x}

Thursday, August 16, 2012

the dunlop volley

Do you remember the sandshoe? You know the one your mum rocked. Well, my mum sure rocked this one. I remember a white with blue pair she wore to work, cleaning other people's shit. They were stained with bleach, they had holes, not much sole, although she wore them with a whole lot of soul. That was my mum. She rocked. {There was also the white and green pair she wore to squash, where apparently she had a mean left handed drop shot}!

Your little people can now rock the dunlop volleys at little pinwheel

Love my little guys style, and how is Keely mixing the colours..... I think they might be worn a lot.


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