Thursday, May 27, 2010

thank you :: making friends

I wanted to write this post as I need to admit my fears. Yesterday I posted up a post about my lack of friendships and the loneliness I feel as a mother. I wrote this post almost a week ago. It has sat there doing nothing, looking at me every time I wrote a new post. I looked at it with fear of looking and feeling like a loser. Like a poor mum that sits at home all on her own with her little ones. Well not at home entirely as I get out a lot!

I felt posting it would make me feel more alone. More isolated as a mother. But it did the complete opposite. I felt more normal, if there is such a thing as a normal mother or person. It made me feel like I was not alone. You have all made me feel like I can now write about anything and everything. Even the things that make me feel like I am completely naked and looking like a fool I will now write and post. The good things and the bad things we face being mothers and women are now going to be shared by me. I am woman hear me roar! Sorry had to write that as my mum used to have the Helen Reddy album and she would walk around singing this when she had stood up for herself! Go mum!

I know there are lots or opportunities that will come up with meeting people. I am sure I will still have my ups and downs. I will just have no expectations and I am sure those special friends will come along. (Easy to say though, but lets be honest I don't want to be alone, I would like some friends! There said it....not feeling too naked)! I still have my little ones to keep me on my toes and I am going to throw in some new routines. A new place to walk and explore. This then will bring new opportunities. It is so true, you really just have to go out there and get out friends here I come!

Thank you for helping me feel as if I have all of you standing over my shoulder drinking tea with me as I write. I am not alone! We are not alone.


  1. I have to admit, with little ones, I felt very much the same until my #1 went to kinder, (preschool), (he is now in grade 3) we met the most fabulous bunch of people who also have 2-3 children each the same ages as ours. I have never felt so content. We all mesh together so well. I never knew friendship could be sooo sweet. (super corny I know but so true.)

  2. Thanks for your posts Hayley!

  3. It is like your post yesterday was written about me, minus a few changes. But the feelings and emotions you poured out to us were all the same. Over the past month I have had some really hard moments. Of pure loneliness. For at least a week I would call Hubby and cry. How I wish just for some true girlfriends. I am working on this.

    Why can not we just create a little street where all our bloggie friends could live?!


  4. I'll be your friend! Happy to join you for a takeaway coffee and a pinwheel adventure Bx

  5. Reading your post rings true to me, and I am sure many many other mums!! I very vivdly remember my mums group when my first bubba was born and there was a girl in my group that I knew was ace and I really liked her .... so I took a deep breathe, walked up and said "Hi, Will you be my friend" I was SO nervous I nearly cried ....but 5 years on and a few more kids later and we are still besties. It can be hard, no doubt about it, but how fun is it when you meet you new people!!

  6. Hi Hayley

    It's a rare day when I don't find a minute to read your blog and I love it simply as it is totally truthfully and real. Of course I love pretty design blogs but I don't read them nearly as much.

    I am just back from 5 years overseas and hope that once I've figured out how to get the washing dry in the permanent rain, then I will have some more time to see my old friends (most moved to other suburbs:( and make some new ones. Kids at school is a million times easier so you'll love next year.

    It's so easy for us to forget the need for friends when you have constant kiddie love. Your post reminded me it's important to make time...

  7. Hi B,

    hope you are up for a toddle down the beach, cause this pinwheel family would love for you to come for a takeaway coffee!


  8. I didn't have any friends until Noah started in kindergarten. Days would go by and the only person I spoke to was my husband or my then toddler. Not even a 'hello, how are you' at the shops since I don't speak the language. Then slowly, through my kids, I have met some wonderful people who I am lucky to call friends. It makes the world of difference and I know you will find some special people soon.

  9. Hi Hayley,

    You are so awesome in your authenticity and honesty. I feel alone a lot too. I don't drive (long story) and my Mum, who is usually my lifeline, doesn't have a lot of money so can't afford the petrol to come see us. My Mr works long hours and doesn't have time to check in on us during the day, so I do go days when the only person I talk to is the Bebito who is only just now, at 20 months, able to talk back in any meaningful way. I don't always want to have my friends with kids come to us.

    What helps me feel less alone is connecting to other people's stories, like yours and I really feel if everyone had the courage to be honest in their feelings then we'd all know we're not quite so alone.

    Bravo to you and I hope you find some lovely people to be friends with in your area through all the great suggestions you've been offered.


  10. I agree with everyone who's mentioned how it's better once the little ones start school...only thing to make sure of is that when you choose a school you keep in mind that it's got to work for you as well as the children - I sometimes feel the most alone when I'm walking into the schoolyard..haven't seemed to gel with people the way I'd like to.

    It's hard too when you're running your own business, it's not like an office where you get that "normal" are doing so well, it's just a phase!

    You write so beautifully Hayley, those like-minded people are there, they just haven't crossed your path yet....and when they do, you will fly!!

  11. Hayley, if I lived in Australia or you lived in the States I know we would be such great friends!! You are such a honest & sweet person!

    You have gone out of your way I know personally for me when I needed help! I consider you a very Dear Friend even though we don't live on the same side of the world.

    Rachelle xoxo



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