Thursday, July 30, 2015

making a difference

I have been wanting to come here for a while and share some things. It is tough to blog about personal things in my life. Before it used to be really easy and now it seems to be hard. The words are all jumbled and there are way too many of them. Maybe to tell just the outcome is enough. The emotions I will have to sit on for a bit longer.

I recently received a letter from the Minister for Education. This letter has my name on it, the Premier of NSW and the lady who writes the Syllabus for Primary Schools in NSW. Along with these names, is $4 million dollars for our children to be used under Child Protection in the curriculum.

I shared my story here years ago now, I have not stopped talking. Sometimes it is really hard, and I need to go and be in my safe place. I may go into a shell to build strength back up, but I never stop wanting and needing the same outcomes. 



Be Brave is something Minti came up with, over a dinner and drinks with me in Melbourne. We were chatting about my story and what I wanted to achieve and do. {By the way these dreams have not gone. I would love more than anything to take my story across the world with my running legs}. I never realised this campaign would become so big for me. I never realised it would push me so much to go to the top of the Government to achieve what I believed was achievable. To me, it is easy. All of it is common sense. We need the education to protect our children. 

They need it, and we all need it.

I have recently entered a competition to win an award in 'Making a Difference,' with the AusMumpreneur network. I chose this category for all the things I have been able to achieve with sharing my story through my business. By having the tee shirts designed, and by sharing how I continue to be brave, I have helped to achieve $4 million dollars to help keep our children safe. 


You can vote here, and it is only one vote per person. I can be found under "Making a Difference' category, Hayley Blease - Little Pinwheel. Last Friday I was in the top 5, which would see me go through to the next round. I would appreciate your support in achieving the award that will allow me to use the tools I win to help my business, and in turn my strength to continue my journey in helping our children.

I know it should have been easy to share this post, that I should have been shouting from the tree tops that I have achieved this. However sometimes achieving beyond what he made me feel, can seem impossible, and surreal. Each day I get stronger than the day before, and knowing that I am not alone in this journey is more than enough to keep me moving forward. Thank you for your support.


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

in your face school holidays!

Day two, and $6.89 later for a tub of 1.8L ice cream. Along with two hours of walking, a picnic, whale watching, coffee break, order packing, movie time at home, tacos on a Wednesday, and a bowl of our never-ending ice cream.






We spotted four whales.






We nailed today. And had fun! 

Tomorrow we have no solid plans. Although this does not scare me one little bit. I am a sucker for routine, and as long as we have the basic routines, the rest will be fun, and chaos rolled into one. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

our school holidays on a budget

These holidays are about ease, not a lot of money being spent and old school activities. Pretty much the same way I roll every school holidays! Although this time, I am watching my hip pocket a whole lot more and interested in seeing if I can keep that under control.





Today was the first day we had a full day of holiday fun. Today we rolled, literally, into Manly for coffee, hot chocolates, beach and park play. 

No full plans for the week, although I am thinking, a bush walk, bike ride, maybe the zoo ($$?... our zoo pass needs to be rebooted with cash), catch ups with friends, and even a day at home. Think we need to bake some treats, check out the lego box, write to their penpals, climb a tree, play with the other children in the street, and print some colouring in activities. 




I am pretty sure I have done ok today by Taj's reaction, and $9 spent.



Do you have any cool ideas for school holidays?

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

be brave and climb ladders

If a black cat crosses your path, or if you walk under a ladder, do you feel like you are going to be dished out some bad luck?

For a few years I have been dreaming of making a difference. Moving toward some huge changes, standing up so tall and strong with my hopes and my dreams to change the world. {Yes, I wish I was a superhero to make this all easier}. I thought I would never see any of this happen in my lifetime, that someone else, (possibly my children), would continue the path I am on. Little did I realise that my voice would travel far enough to the right people and the wheels would turn faster.



I was going to keep all of this to myself. I didn't want to jinx it all. But this afternoon I realised that it is best to speak up and be proud of what I have achieved. Share the awesome!

A couple of weeks ago I had a meeting with the Premier's Senior Advisor. Mike Baird has supported me a lot with the Be Brave campaign, and sharing my story in Parliament. He hasn't stopped supporting me. From the moment I left that office, a letter was composed by Mike Baird to the Minister of Education on my behalf. It takes a good 6-8 weeks to hear back. From there I will sit with one of his Advisors to put across my ideas with educating children and teachers about child sexual assault awareness. 

That is it in a nutshell. There is more to it, and it isn't as easy as it sounds. I however do believe that what I have already achieved is huge, and I am really proud that I have turned an awful start in life, to being one that could change lives. 

I always wanted to "get him," as my mum put it the day he walked free out of the Supreme Court. It isn't about getting him, or making him pay for what he did. The life I have chosen, and the steps I take are the best thing I can do for me. I have started flicking those dominos, and they will all fall.

He will fall.


The mirror could break, the black cat may walk in front of me, and I will still keep moving forward; because I don't walk alone.  

Friday, May 22, 2015

the kissing goals


Some nights when I kiss my littles goodnight for the second time, (you know the sneaky tuck in before you turn in for the night), I wonder how I am doing this. How am I able to be a motherless daughter, and parent without a backup parent.



My children deserve to know their Nan-nan. My mum deserves to know her grandchildren. If only I had a day where she could be here, and we could share our lives once more. I would love for her to see their joy, their love and for mum to see that I'm doing the best I can do; her grandchildren are beautiful, loving, kind and caring. 

Who am I kidding, I would love more than one day. I would love a lifetime. There's so much to show mum. There are people she's never met that have shown me love and life. I know the simple act of mum having a coffee where I have coffee everyday would bring a whole lot of joy into my little community. She had that way about her.






When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will realise I am doing it. I am being a mum to my children. I am living life, and sharing me with the people around me. My mum may not be here with me, although I like to hope she has left such a big part of herself with me. Sometimes I feel alone and other times, I feel her right here with me. 

I love kissing my children goodnight. It is the moment you realise we rocked our day. Tomorrow we wake up and rock another. It doesn't matter if there are smiles, or tears, if there are tantrums or laughter. However we get through it, we always have the kiss goodnight.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

run like you believe

I am a runner, not really a hurdler. However in the past few weeks I have had to jump over hurdles to figure out who I am and what I am doing with my own life. It is pretty scary being faced with the fact you have no idea who you are anymore. Then it all starts falling into place again, and the runner starts to jump so high, the hurdles are cleared.



Today I went for a run. It wasn't just any ordinary run. This time, my legs felt light and strong, not heavy and weak. I knew it was going to be a good one. {It was my longest run since being injured in 777}. I had a lady walk past me with a big smile, just for me. I thought, she must be having a great day and I smiled back. The more I thought about it, and the more I received smiles from other walkers and runners, I realised it was me that was smiling at them. They had no other choice but to crack a grin back at me. 

Running brings me pure joy and relaxation. I planned my whole life again in one run. Sometimes the life changes in different runs, and sometimes it is pretty much mapped out the same. Of course it isn't set in concrete, but it sure is fun coming up with some impressive life dreams. I do hope that some of what I thought about today comes true.

Today I ran 10km. That used to be a short run for me, and no doubt in the coming months as my coach starts to push me harder, the runs will become longer. For those 10km, I smiled because I felt free. I was running because I believed in myself, and it was like those people walking and running passed me, could see that belief written all over my face.

I may have lost a huge part of me in the past 6-12 months, however I am coming back, stronger and smarter than ever. For those who stood in the shadows and hid away, I hope that they will soon come back out and run beside me. I believe when a person believes in themselves, others believe in you too, and they will stand right beside you in your dreams and in your life, as you will theirs.




Happy sunshine Sydney!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

being someone awesome beyond the survivor of child sexual assault

When I set out on my journey to be somebody that made a difference, I took the little girl inside of me, held her hand and brought her along for the ride. I was a victim of child sexual assault for a long time. That moment I held my own hand is when I became a survivor. The thing that came to me late last week is that I don't need to be a survivor for the rest of my life. So what label will I wear, and who's hand will I hold?



Being the victim, you could only imagine the horror that I faced, and faced for many years. Finding my voice allowed the horror to end, and for me to start a new life beyond the child suffering at the hands of abuse. From the victim I fought and I built courage and strength I didn't even know was humanly possible. I became Blease, not the name I was previously known as when I was a victim. With my mums help I carried her father's name with pride and love. I was just part of her from that moment, no part of him. That in itself was strength. Although it was the steps it took to become that name that the strength came from. Every single step was built from me. Every single step I took forward to fight him in court, to fight to have my own identity with a new name, to make the step to leave all of my friends and family to be free and safe was from my steps alone. From my own strength. Because I chose to be strong and to have courage to be free.

I am not sure this is making sense, however I have come to realise there is so much more than being the survivor of sexual assault. You could almost say I have had an epiphany. But for me it is just another step in my life for being more than what he ever believed I was. 

Today I spoke for an hour about me, about what I believed, and what I have come to realise in the past week. Today was massive, huge, enormous. 

Today I became me. I moved away from the title of survivor of child sexual assault. In the past week I made the decision that I cannot live in fear. I cannot allow him to have that hold on my life. I don't want to be afraid of the dark. So I made the choice not to be. Easier said than done, it has taken time, not an overnight achievement. And I have no doubt there will be times when I am scared. However I choose not to be. I am allowing myself to have the courage to be myself. To live a life where I am free, and able to help others. 

I am Hayley Blease, an advocate of what you can become if you believe in yourself. Don't give up believing that one day you can be more than what you thought you were. Believe that you can have awesome, and completely deserve awesome, because you too are awesome.

Now that is what Be Brave is all about. I cannot wait to grow more as I take more steps into achieving what needs to be achieved to make our world aware and safe. I don't need to hold my own hand anymore. I want to be the person that holds hands, and makes a difference to another life other than my own.

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