Sunday, August 26, 2012

bye bye little :: hello the little & the lady

Today marks second last written blog post here. I have decided that it is time to move on from this media of blogging. The last blog post will be the family images we had taken over the weekend by Lisa, from Paper Nest Photography. The images will be ready in a couple of weeks, and a great way to kick off our life, just for us. 

This lady has shared a lot. I have shared it in a way that I would hope was with a whole lot of dignity, with also allowing you to see that I am a normal person that too has struggles in life, and really awesome times. I feel that now I need to stretch my business savvy head, and really push both of the dreams that I started, and keep that side of my life very much alive to see. I love photography, I love fashion, and I love all that my business brings for me. It is not about the money, it is about the things I personally get out of it. I will now start the little and the lady blogpurely business. Very much a photo blog to show off the little and the lady pinwheel. A place to see some personal images, however only if we are wearing the threads from the little and the lady.

My little people light up my world. They truly have been the back bones of this business, and the personal blog. My mum, even though she is not here was my biggest inspiration to starting the little pinwheel blog, and this was a place where I felt I could come and write to her in a sense. It was a place to show her that I am doing the best I can, which is all she could ever hope for. I launched little pinwheel on her birthday, lady pinwheel around the time of her anniversary of her passing. There is a lot of my mum within these businesses, and I am grateful for everything she taught me in life. Now I have a huge understanding of when it is time to hold those cards close to my chest.

The things I have shared, I have no regrets, and never will. I helped people with sharing about my abuse; women who never told anyone shared. I survived that part of my life, and I will one day give back to those other survivors or victims in more than just words. The friends I have made through this blog is amazing, and completely blows me away that you can make a friend through written words. One friend, who I met in the playground over three years ago, said to me once, "Hayley I do not read your blog, as I like the Hayley I know, and the one that shares her life with me." Those words, well they kind of hit home, and those friends that are in my life know me in a whole different light. There are some friends I have kept things from in the fear of judgement, but I am learning that those friends actually want to know everything about me. They want to know the good things, and be happy that I am feeling awesome, and they want to be there when I need help. I believe they deserve my time. (That is a part of my personality I am trying to change. My mum was the same. She rarely asked for help, and I am beginning to realise, that it is best to ask, and it is also best to open up to the people you love. They are not going to hurt you, or judge you. If they do, well I understand too from what my mum taught me, friends come and go in your life. Your true friends you can count on one hand, and if you can fill that hand, you are doing well).

There are moments in our lives that you will not know the ending to. Keely and her bed wetting, which I know some of you would like to know the results on how we go with the natural approach. I am sure that Nat will post something about it on her blog, as she is the one helping us. My teeth, well you will see the finished smile on my other blog when I smile big for Lady Pinwheel in photo shoots, or if you walk past me in the street, I will crack you a big straight pearly white smile! The running, well you just need to know that my name will pop up somewhere, and maybe you will see me in a race. I may not make it in the big time, but this lady plans on giving back with her ability to run. The main thing is, I love it, and I won't stop running, and striving for those goals. {I might even write that book one day. I was told I could write my way through the rest of my life, and I will in some way. If it be a book, or in my own personal book at home}.

I am happy; the happiest I have ever been in my life. There are things I would love to change about myself, but I think I am starting to accept that I am not perfect, and not everyone is going to like me. I would love more than anything to find love, and so would my little people. Keely talks about it a lot, which I find is very sweet. For now, I am going to roll with our lives as the lady with two beautiful little people, concentrate on the people around me that mean more than they will ever know, learn how to ask for help, read more, run like the wind, and inspire to be a great success in the little and the lady pinwheel. 

Thank you again to Lisa for taking our family photos. It will be nice to see the candid images, to see our little life the way we spend it every saturday we have together, and to show you all how happy I truly am, and my little people are too. I will share them here as soon as I receive them, as my final personal blog post.

I am blessed to have had this space to share my ups and downs. I am blessed to feel no judgement, and I hope you come and visit the new blog to see what is happening with the little and the lady pinwheel. It is time to see in front of the lens, instead of behind it.

Thank you for your comments over the years, the emails, and the friendships.

Take care,

Hayley x

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

my missie munster and little munster

The way we roll sometimes is all about the chaos. It is fitting things in when you truly do not have the time to fit them in, and somehow completely pulling it off. I was on Skype this morning with my ace friend, Karen, and at the same time as talking to her I was cooking porridge, cleaning up, and then getting organised for a photo shoot before school drop off. Karen stuck around, sat on the table, and watched what we do with this part of our little pinwheel life.

I would not have it any other way. I guess when you really want to get things done, you just find the time. It may not be about good time management, mostly just a freak of nature in this home! And with that freak of nature, we capture moments that I know I will treasure forever. 

The best thing I find with photographing my little people, is that the one image you think is going to suck ends up being the best image. Taj rolling around on the floor, and snap, a moment captured that shows both of their personalities.

Keely is sporting a new long bob haircut, and an awesome straight bang, (fringe). Love her confidence!

Rock your week. We are blessed to have a photographer offer to take images of us doing our thing on the weekend. I cannot wait to see the results, and for someone to capture our candid moments as a little family. I also have a race on sunday, and I feel the best I have felt in the past 18 months of training. Good headspace, an awesome coach, amazing supportive friends, and the two most beautiful little people will drive me to run well on Sunday, and lead me into the more important race next month.

I cannot wait to write the blog post that says I am a success in running. I am not sure what will make me that success, but I am sure I will personally know when that comes. I think right now it is the belief that will get me over that line. Even this weekend to run well, not necessarily break any personal records, just to carry that strong head, and run with that smile on my face will be the start of the personal success.

Monday, August 20, 2012

the perfect piece

Simple words back and forth with a friend, and something just clicks in the head. Life is like this puzzle we continually pull apart and put back together. At times the whole puzzle changes, and you are left with a new challenge in life. A whole new scene, and a new level of change. 

As my friend said, "you are a lucky lady...." And that I am. The reason is that I have the two most beautiful little people. You take everything else away from me. You put me on the street, with nothing else in my possession, except my little guy in one hand, and my girl in the other, and I will survive. I still have my running legs, they are part of me, and I don't need the shoes or the clothes on my back to run. I can run without them.

Sometimes we need to look at the puzzle we are working on, and realise that those pieces that you still have on the side are not always that important. If you have the main picture, you do not need anymore. Maybe you already have the perfect life? 

Then of course there are the missing pieces. We all have them. They can symbolise the things you would love to have in life, or the things, or people you have lost in life. I guess when it comes down to it, there is no perfect puzzle. Although I would like to believe there is that perfect piece that fixes the whole picture.

I hope you find your perfect piece.

{this post is for my beautiful friend Sophie, who lost her mother in law last night to cancer x}

Thursday, August 16, 2012

the dunlop volley

Do you remember the sandshoe? You know the one your mum rocked. Well, my mum sure rocked this one. I remember a white with blue pair she wore to work, cleaning other people's shit. They were stained with bleach, they had holes, not much sole, although she wore them with a whole lot of soul. That was my mum. She rocked. {There was also the white and green pair she wore to squash, where apparently she had a mean left handed drop shot}!

Your little people can now rock the dunlop volleys at little pinwheel

Love my little guys style, and how is Keely mixing the colours..... I think they might be worn a lot.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

little pinwheel life

We need to shut the front door, and lock it. We have created the fun house, and once word gets around, everyone will be busting the door down.... Ok, so that is a little over the top. However, we are having fun, and we are a happy little family. I love the fact I smile big, and along with my smile is two huge smiles, and big laughs from my little people. It just goes to show we do truly shape our little people.

This is how we rocked a photo shoot. Hilarious. One outfit each, the timer, myself, Keely and even Taj behind the lens. I have two budding photographers on my hands. {Both little people wore the new Minti summer range with native shoes. I wore the new Tluxe skirt, LNA coral colour tee, and native shoes}. 

I love my little people, and how they create a life in little pinwheel.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

lavender and lamingtons

The little people and I have been busy with Little Pinwheel. It has been fun. Like a little production line. It is a busy time of year for the Little and the Lady.

our little production line

taj rocking the new summer eagle jumper with elbow pads

We had a lovely weekend remembering Nan-Nan. They picked fresh flowers, lavender, which Keely called lamingtons, picked up a rock each to give to me, as I apparently rock their world..... (So cute)!

The lamingtons, (lavender), made their way into the ocean for my mumso, and the rocks, well I kept them.

My mum didn't like coconut. It was her one thing that was a running joke amongst her friends. So Keely calling the lavender, lamingtons was perfect. More than she will ever know!

Got to fly.... meet the birdman, from the new Minti Summer range.

Friday, August 10, 2012

my mum

Today I could say a lot. Today I could tell you another life story about my mum. Although right now it would hurt too much to find the words. I am missing her. Her orchid is about to flower. And I said this to her yesterday, "you can come home now mum. I have had enough of your joke, 6 years is long enough." On sunday I am going to hold her hand, and go on a long run, put flowers in the water with my little people, and spend some time with my awesome friends. A beautiful weekend ahead!

I love you mum. 

just breathe.....

My eulogy. 

When I decided I would like to say a few words about mum, I thought, where does one start.  Mum has achieved so much in her short lived life and she has made an amazing impact on my life.

For those of you who did not know mum adopted me when I was only 10 days old.  From that day mum treated me as if I was her “real daughter.”  I have always known I was adopted from mum reading a children’s book explaining to me why I looked differently to mum and to my siblings.  Although, you may say that we did look alike and that mum was my “real mum.”  To me she was my mum.  She put me through school, she was there to drop me off on my first day and pick me up on my last day.  She helped me get my first job, babysitting 3 children.  Mum stuck by me through the tough times and after we got through those she helped me start my new life in Sydney.  Mum helped me celebrate all those wonderful times and was there for the birth of her first grandchild.

Mum was a very private woman, who believed that you only need to know things that effect you directly, a need to know basis.  I believe this is one of the many building blocks to mum’s personality.  Because of this I do not know too much about mum’s past.  What I do know is mum immigrated to Australia when she was around seven years old with her mum and dad.  Mum did not like her stepfather, but did like her father who died when mum was quite young.  She lived in Strathfield, or around there and went to Manly beach on weekends for swims.  Mum joined the Navy when she was 17 and as far as I know did not stay in service for very long.  When mum adopted Craig and myself we lived in Bowraville and moved to Canberra after Brooke was born.  Mum worked for the Smith Family and when she was raising us on her own she left her job with no job to go to.  She needed to do something to put food on the table so she started her own cleaning business with a friend.  Her friend went her separate ways and mum continued to clean other peoples shit.  Over the years mum went from advertising in the local chronicle, to no advertising, doing end of lease cleans for real estates around Canberra and then receiving a contract with the American Embassy.

After about 12 years of sticking her head down toilets she decided she would like to semi-retire on Sydney’s Northern Beaches.

I am so proud of my mum and the things she has achieved over the years.  She has so many friends, or as Gay Lane quoted saying “she didn’t have time with too many friends, she did it her way.”  That is mum a friend when you are not having a friend.  Luckily for us children she is always a mum, our mum, our bestfriend and now a nanny.  But to all of you who are here today she is your friend, your best friend, someone you can count on when you need her the most and even now as I speak she is sitting next to each and everyone of you holding your hands and getting you through this day and every day after this one.

Mum never had much money on a single income, but I never really realised this until I was well into my twenties.  Every school holidays we were down the south coast staying in cute houses right on the beach, or on school holiday camps.  We all went on whatever school trip our schools had and I personally was always dressed in the latest surf gear.  Nothing is ever too much trouble for mum.

I went through a hard, emotional time before I moved to Sydney which mum really helped me with.  She gave me her support, her strength and helped me make the move to Sydney for what mum called, “a fresh start.”  Only a few months into living in Sydney I met Simon.  He worked in a cafe, from which I bought coffees from every day.  I told mum that I had met this great guy, that I flirted with and that he was flirting with me.  Mum’s very words were, “Hayley, grow some balls and ask him out.”  I always do what mum tells me to do, so the next day that is what I did.  From the moment Simon said yes everything seemed to all happen very fast and now here I am today three years later with a unit and a beautiful baby girl, mums granddaughter.

On January 16 Keely was born and mum was so proud to be a nanny.  For those who know mum well, you would be surprised to hear she was excited to be a nanny as mum always said “don’t have kids, they are trouble and you will be rich.”  I am so glad mum moved here to spend the last few months of her life.  She got to spend a lot of time with me and her beautiful granddaughter.  We met nearly everyday for a drink, or a free lunch at Simon’s cafe where mum had a running tab and soon became part of the furniture.  For the record the bill is still outstanding.

When mum first moved to Sydney she lived with Simon, Keely and I.  She had just started her job at the nursing home in the kitchen of the dementia ward.  Mum would come home every night and made me promise if she ever ended up like that to please put her down.  She encountered grown men flashing her, women trying to break through windows threatening to kill her and the joy of bathing old men with her training.  For the men out there mum says it is true it does get smaller!

Mum really enjoyed living here, liked her new job and was just making her apartment her new home.  Sootie was settling in and loving his walks near the lake with the ducks.  Mum was not allowed pets in her new apartment.  Renting over the years we got good at hiding our animals.  Although a few weeks ago mum received a phone call from the real estate saying that she had been spotted walking out the front door with a dog.  Mum played dumb and said that it was her daughter’s dog that she was taking for a walk.  Well that was the truth as Sootie was always Brooke’s dog.  Anyway it was a mystery to mum and I of who had spotted mum.  Mum’s neighbours had dogs too, so we knew they wouldn’t have said anything.  So we thought maybe one of the property managers lived close by and saw mum.  When I returned mum’s keys on Thursday the mystery was finally revealed.  We were talking about getting mum’s place cleaned in time for opening the place for saturday and the property manager said, not to worry as the owner lives two doors down.  So all along mum’s landlord was her neighbour.  If it was the one I think, he owned a dog!

There is so much more to say about mum.  I will forever talk about mum, and never let her die.  She is my mum, my bestfriend, Keely’s nanny and our friend.  I wish I had more time with her to tell her how proud I am of her.  If I could be half a mum she is then I am doing well.  Mum will not be at my wedding to give me away, she will not be at Keely’s first day of school, she will not be there for the birth of her second, or even third grandchild.  Mum will be with me in my heart and there in spirit, but I wish she was here the way she used to be. Who do I call to tell them about my day, to tell them the gossip I have, to have coffee with everyday.  Who do I go to Billy Joel with.  I got the tickets on Monday mum.  I love you mumso........ x

Thursday, August 9, 2012

keely competing in london!

As I dream of Rio, my girl lives London! 

Today the little people at Keely's school have the Olympics on. I went to watch her in London, and I witnessed a whole bunch of children having the best day of their school year. There were a few parents around watching, a great bunch of enthusiastic teachers, and above all the best little athletes I have ever seen!

the award ceremony at the end of each sport

What a great idea. What a great way of showing our children all about what our Aussies are doing for us right now in London.

swimming! this was so funny to watch

fun after the competition with laps of the pool. this is freestyle!

Keely was Belarus. Go team Belarus! Go team Curl Curl primary.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

bed wetting

There is nothing like the great wee debate. Not sure if there is one, although we are having one in this little home. Keely is still rocking a nappy overnight. She is not liking it, and she would love nothing more than to give it the flick for good. For me, I agree with her, but on the other hand I am trying to explain to her that it is not her fault, her bladder is not talking to her head. I too have had that problem, although I think that more came with having children and neglecting those pelvic floors!

I was told she will grow out of it, and to go with the flow. There is no problem with going with the flow. But when you have a little girl that would like to give the nappy the flick, then you need to go with it. I am not one to have her sleep in a puddle of wee every night just to try and teach her brain the hard way. I personally believe that would be more discomfort for her, and I feel that is a little cruel.  Keely would also love to have sleepovers, and she is feeling a little uncomfortable with how she will hide her "special" knickers.

I had this conversation with my ace friend, Nat Kringoudis from the Pagoda Tree on our melbourne date night. Instantly Nat put her hand up and she has agreed to help treat Keely. I am rather excited about what Nat has up her natural sleeve, and Keely is super excited, as she questioned this morning if I was a doctor! Love her.

Have you still got a bed wetter, and do you have memories of being one yourself? Do you have a way that you have beaten it?

Monday, August 6, 2012

a good runner

Melbourne was awesome. Melbourne was just the way I remember her. All of the hidden cafes and restaurants, and the same feeling of being completely comfortable with being just me. This time around it was about work, catching up with friends in amazing restaurants, and training around the tan track. It was the training, and the time to myself that gave me this.....

I sit in the airport waiting to board my flight, fresh running book in hand, and an awesome weekend of great training. Last night was the women's Olympic marathon, and I received a text firstly from a great friend, who enjoys running herself. She tells me that one day that will be me she is watching on television. Not long after I received another message from my coach asking if I was watching it, and if I was inspired. My eyes were glued to the television, as I watched their faces, listened to the crowd, watched their techniques, and dreamed big. I could not wipe the smile off my face.

I wake up in the morning and find another message from my ace friend, Karen in the UK. She has been sitting watching the Olympics on the big screen in the park. She says she wants to be sitting there watching me.

There is something about having a dream so big that a part of you says, "what am I doing, dreaming this big?" Then there is this part that says, "why not live this dream?" I read books full of inspiring running stories, dreams lived, and dreams people hope to achieve when it comes to running. I find a lot of runners have always run. Competed in a lot of races, run as teenagers in running clubs. Where as I haven't always ran. I ran quite young, although, I ran just for the love of it, and for me. Does this in itself kill my dream? Some might say it does, and some might say I don't have a chance. Maybe I don't, although, I don't think so. It is the power of the mind, and positive thinking.

A simple car ride to the airport and I start talking to the driver. I tell him about my training around the tan track, as we drive past. He told me that I should be in the UK, not here running. I tell him my big dream. He says to me, "if you believe and really believe it, you can achieve anything." {what my mum always said to me}. He continued to tell me a story about his greyhounds that he has and races. He had one that was said to never be able to run, and compete in races. He believed that one day this dog would run. He told me with persistence, and believing his greyhound would run, helped his dog race, and in turn come out a winner. He said, this can be you too.

Yesterday was my long run day. I knocked 9 minutes off my race time in the Gold Coast. That was a personal goal I had set to do within six months. Instead I achieved it in 6 weeks, and on a long run. A long run, you are out there enjoying yourself, not trying to achieve anything, except the feeling of loving what you are doing. I did all of that, and achieved a huge goal. You could only imagine the emotions I felt. I sat on the bottom of the shower floor crying, laughing, and smiling big. I had done something I wanted to achieve, and now I work on the next goal. 

On Saturday I had blisters from the night before wearing my boots out to dinner. I walked the almost 6 kilometres back to my hotel barefoot. I received smiles, random looks, and above all, I did not care. All I cared about was the fact I had a long run the next day, and I wanted to run.

Both days, the choice of no shoes to minimise discomfort for my run, the 9 minutes knocked off my time on my long run, the emotions themselves, made me realise I am a good runner, not just a runner. A good runner.

We all have dreams. Some we live, and some we don't. My plan is to love lacing those shoes up, love what I do, race more, and achieve all I can for as long as I can run. The dreaming, well I believe that will come, it may change, and it will be achieved in more ways than one.


Related Posts with Thumbnails