When you open yourself up to the world with such fears you for some reason expect to be hurt. I received the complete opposite. Maybe it is due to getting "used" to the pain inflicted by others you expect it to always happen to you in some way or another. I am incredibly lucky to have a voice that I am not scared to use. I was once scared. To share now will help others. Yes, it helps me too. I however want to rescue everyone from pain. To think there are other adults, and children that have faced abuse, or facing abuse hurts me in ways that there are no words for.
I remember in my early 20's facing the court case, and the long road ahead of waiting for trial dates that I wanted to be that young woman that went into schools and educated children on abuse. I am not too sure if it is done. Or if it can be done. To give some of my strength to others would leave me lost for words. I believe that if I had that person visit my high school, I may have used my voice a lot earlier, and saved a few more years of being hurt.
There is no saving everyone. I know that I cannot do that. But to know that I might help one person is enough. That is one person to live a life without pain. I remember when I first shared my secret on this blog, and I had at least two women that opened up about their secret. I helped two people. Two people that I know of. That is huge. Two people that I gave a voice to.
I asked a friend the other day if she thought one person could change the world. She told me that yes she believed that one person can make an affect on the world, and in turn others will continue that. I guess like a domino affect. One person puts their hand up, and the rest follow. I don't think I can change the world, but I do hope that I have changed one person's outlook on the world. I know I have changed mine just by sharing my fears.
A stranger crossed my path twice today. The same man. The second time he looked at me and smiled. He said, "did you know that your smile is contagious?!" Maybe I can change the world in my own way. Keep being me, and sharing my smile. It changed a part of him. It might have only been for today, and for that one moment. I made a stranger happy, and in turn made me happier.
thank you for taking the fear of sharing away. thank you for allowing me to take another step forward. thank you for giving me more strength. and allowing me to give that strength to others. x