I am great with words, more so the written word. I also believe if I can work the words out in my head, I am great with them out of my mouth. That is something I am building on. I get very nervous, and afraid of saying the wrong thing. I was shot down a lot in my life for the things I would say. It was very hurtful. I guess that is why I write. I can get the words out with little thought, and they flow from the heart. There is never a negative comment, and I am not left feeling less than the person I am. I am left feeling good, not dumb. I want that when I speak. I want that same feeling. I want to express my feelings and feel confident in how I am feeling.
Confrontation and I are not friends. I don't do it. I don't do anger. I don't do fights. It is not me. It is not my nature. I cannot handle feeling like I am pushed up in a corner for having a heart that wants to talk. I need understanding and acceptance in my words. And in my feelings.
I am going to stand in front of about 100 people. I am going to stand there with the words I have written straight from my heart. I am going to stand there and tell my sister and her new husband my feelings. I am going to stand there and share my feelings through spoken words. I believe this will be the first step in fighting my fear of expressing my feelings. A great gift to give to my sister, and an even better gift to give to myself.
There will be tears. I will be shaking. There will be happiness as I hand over my words to my sister and her new husband. My spoken words for them to keep.
love. acceptance. understanding. happiness. beautiful heart.
rock on sister!