Wednesday, June 23, 2010

sleeping :: no issue

Do you think there is too much pressure on mothers to be the best at everything? Especially training our children to sleep from the moment we bring them home from hospital, until they are old enough to understand the whole sleeping issue.

Back onto the sleeping subject; a subject that hangs around for the first few years of our little ones lives. Then we will face the issue of trying to wake them up to go to school!

I am having issues with Taj. Well maybe they really are not issues. I guess sleep is only an issue if you feel it is not working for you. I think there comes a time where I do have to personally look at where I am in my life, and where the children are and go with the flow a little more. Taj has changed his sleep a lot since moving into a room with Keely and then having so many ear infections. Every time we have a flow going he gets sick again and he wants to snuggle with me to sleep. I have no idea why I feel so much pressure to get him to sleep in his cot and to fall asleep on his own, when he wants to lay on me, and all he says to me is, "cuddle."

So today I have made a decision. There is no denying Taj gets ear infections, (one of his ears is still infected after a week on antibiotics), he also loves his mum, and he loves to have a cuddle to go to sleep. He now sleeps in Keely's bed for his day sleep and he sleeps in my bed in the evening for his night sleep. Both arrangements gives him the comfort of a cuddle with his mum to fall asleep, I get a little rest as he drifts off to sleep, and he is happy. Our co-sleeping has stepped it up a notch. And he has slept through the night TWO nights in a row!

When I lay there with him, I don't hear anyone in the room telling me I am doing the wrong thing. They are only books, other people's opinions, and their way. I think we as mothers need to find our balance with being the best mum we can be for our children. If it be controlled crying, holding your little ones hand, falling asleep with a dummy, on the boob or the bottle, or in mums arms; these are all different tools, our children are all different, and so are we. I am doing what works for us. No more tears for mum. Time to breathe and enjoy this time.

Sleep will not be an issue forever. Time for a big bed for Taj, pack the cot away, and in the meantime he can sleep in Keely's bed for his day sleep and snuggle up with me in the evenings.


  1. great post! totally agree. I only wish my youngest would settle with cuddles in my bed, he will only sleep in the cot and when he is unsettled there is NO way to settle him outside of the cot! Except occasionally carrying him in my beco! all the best with taj's sleep :)

  2. Enjoy your little man while you can, bed, cot, big bed, mums arms it doesn't matter. From reading your blog your an amazing women with amazing kids so do amazing things like choose for yourself - books are simply information, the best bit if you can do anything you want and if it comes from love little Taj will be so much better off. Good Luck from a mum who sneaks in to hold her 8 month old because she doesn't settle in her arms anymore. :)

  3. Cosleeping is the best :D Eli slept in a cot for a week, Jalen has never seen one. There is nothing more delicious than a little one snuggling into you at night and waking up (except sometimes it is too early!) to such a happy little face. It goes so quickly, we should treasure it, not feel guilty for it. Adults don't often like to sleep alone, so why make our baby and toddlers? Eli decided on his own to move to his own bed at around 4 years, and I missed him. Nothing wrong with making sure Mamma and little people all have a nice night sleep. xo

  4. I agree, do what feels right for you and your kids. Both of mine have slept in our bed (the oldest till he was 2 yr 4 mths) and the youngest is 18 months and she is not moving anytime soon! As a consequence I get a good sleep so have patience and both kids are happy. Interestingly Quinn is an amazing sleeper in his big bed and has been since day one - in your face those who swore he would never sleep well in his own bed!! Susan

  5. Love this post Hayley! I am a believer to go with what you feel is the best for you. Everyone is different and has their own way with dealing with sleep issues. I loved co-sleeping. My oldest daughter used to always wake up and come into our bed and it only stopped when she was alot older, she used to have a lot of nightmares.
    poor little Taj needs and wants his mumma and you need your sleep so co -sleeping is for you both.
    Do let other peoples thoughts or ideas affect how you feel or how you do your parenting. The kids are loved and safe and that to me is all that matters.
    Big hugs Hayley on being a fabulous mother
    Vicki XX

  6. All three of my children while they were babies and toddlers co-sleeped with my husband and I. I move them into their cot/bed when they were ready. I know there is alot of books that say it's a no no! But I worked for us and we all got sleep.

  7. Couldn't agree more! I love giving my little man cuddles to sleep, and he definately loves it too!

  8. When I took Piper to sleep school(the first time!) the lovely nurse there said one thing that resonated with me & that I think about whenever we have some sort of an 'issue' - be it sleep, food, behavoiur, whatever - she said 'it's only an issue if it bothers you. If something works for you & you're happy with it then it's not an issue'. So true. Enjoy those sleeps with your little boy - he'll be grown up before you know t so milk it for as long as you can I say! :)

  9. great post, I agree wholeheartedly. IU hope little Taj's ear gets better soon. We went through many ear infections with both our boys, though now they have grommets. Happy birthday for the other day!

  10. That's a beautiful post. I think our role as parents is to bring our children up feeling safe, secure and loved. We need to do what is best for our own child and if you and your family are all happy, then that's all that matters.
    Love Hannah xx

  11. Great post Hayley. I completely agree with you on co-sleeping. It just makes so much sense.

    We've been doing it since Rosie's birth and I can honestly say I've only felt tired no more than a couple of times in almost 4 months. That's not too bad for a new mum I think!

    We may even by-pass the cot and go straight to a big bed when she's ready! Hope little Taj is feeling a bit better. xx

  12. Absolutely true that if its working for you its not an issue. Both my kids have been or still are bad sleepers, and I would still have my daughter (22 months) come in bed in the middle of the night but my husband is anti-sharing-the-bed-with-the-kids-again. I suppose he could sleep on the couch...

  13. I hear you!! & I say 'what ever works' enjoy all those snuggles :)

  14. being a mom of two weeks old baby... i really appreciate your honesty on your blog. i was reading a few books and was starting to get confused by all these "opinions" too...

    i think you're right. at the end, we have to follow our instinct and do the right things for our family.

    thanks for your post!


  15. My son is five and we still co sleep. I'm sure lots of people would have a problem with this but it allows him to feel safe and after spending five days a week in child minding it allows us to have some time together in the morning when we wake up. It is true from the moment you become a parent there is always some one out there telling you your doing the wrong thing etc etc but as a parent all you can do is do what you know is best for your individual child.



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