I have body image on my mind and how others perceive it. At the Early Childhood Clinic they do a 4 year check before your little ones start school in the new year. This gives them an indication of their eye sight, their balance, their motor skills and their body mass index.
The body mass index; who ever invented such a thing, especially a formula to be used on small children? I know childhood obesity is high. There is no doubt it is, but there is also no doubt eating disorders are very high at a young age. So what is a mother to do who gets told her daughter is in the high range for her BMI?
A bit of background about myself as a person when it comes to weight issues. I have an eating disorder. I have had one for most of my teenage years and I can say I still fight it today. It is a battle I face every time I put something in my mouth. I started to have bulimia when I was a teenager. I was told it was my way of dealing with my child abuse. It was something I could control. The only thing I could control.
When you tell a mother who has been fighting an eating disorder that her daughter is in the high range for her height then of course I am going to be concerned. (Wouldn't any parent be concerned, eating disorder or no eating disorder)? I am not concerned because I want to have a "skinny" daughter. I am concerned as I would not want her to ever face such a disease. I think any mother or father that has a little girl never wants them to go through an eating disorder. Keely is gorgeous. I think she is perfect. Yes she struggles with her eating and she is a classic fussy eater. But I would never say she was overweight. She is not super skinny, but she is no way fat.
The ladies at the clinic also rolled their eyes and said they believed that a 4 year old should not be judged on the BMI. They did tell me that I had nothing to be concerned about and the way I was trying to get Keely to eat different foods was spot on. I don't want a daughter with an eating disorder, especially an eating disorder brought on by someone telling her she is overweight. (Not that they were saying she was overweight I am talking in general).
I know it will be hard when she is a teenager and body image is a big issue for the girls around her and herself. I just didn't think it would be hard for her now. I will be her mum and step it up. I am not going to even let this become an issue for her. Teaching her healthy eating, which I already do and have always done, and shaping her into someone that loves herself is going to be a good start. If she loves herself and she is happy, then so am I; whatever shape or size she is.
You know they said the same thing to me about my 7 year old daughter and it stressed me out. My daughter is also a picky eater and she doesn't always ask for the healthiest things but she is very active in karate, soccer and sometimes dance. I'm never sure how to deal with it because she doesn't look over weight but her belly does pooch a little but I figured because she's still a little girl. I don't want her to end up with an eating disorder so I am trying my best. I'm so glad you posted this now I don't feel alone.
ReplyDeleteas a mother of a 2 year old, i have occassionally wondered if my daughter will end up chubby. i think she has my build, which is short and solid. when people pick her up and say, oh she's heavy isn't she, i sometimes think, yeah she is, i wonder if that's "normal" for her age. to have the test results come back like that for keely would've been hard. she is a happy and healthy looking little girl that shines in each photo i see of her, i think that tells the truth!
ReplyDeleteand big big hugs for you too. big tight squeezy ones xx
I have two girls, my oldest one is 12 years old and she has always very thin and I have always been told she is under weight. I remember the early childhood clinic visits when she was a baby and a little girl and being told she was below the average for BMI. She is healthy, eats a well balanced diet and also does karate three times a week. This is just her make-up, and she is constantly picked on for being skinny at school. She has the same body issues that someone who is worried about being bigger has.
ReplyDeleteMy youngest is four year old, and I haven’t had her check up yet and I might not bother!
My oldest is a bit like Keely - I've had the same worries. You are doing all the right things and as she gets older it will help her have a positive body image. She's an active little girl who has a great mum who is giving her all the right groundings in healthy attitudes to food...focus on that and not on the random measurement that is the BMI.
ReplyDeleteI have three girls who all have relatively the same diets and yet all show completely different predispositions to weight gain and body size...that just goes to show that genetics are such a big part!!
How on earth can BMI be an effective measure for 4yos? They're still growing and all kids grow at different rates. If she's happy and healthy that's all that matters. She's not got rolls and she's not got bones sticking out - surely that's just right!
ReplyDeleteJust be thankful she is healthy.
ReplyDeletehi anonymous....I am very thankful my children are both healthy. You have a very good point; I think every mother or parent is thankful for healthy children.
ReplyDeleteThe BMI can be very misleading...my youngest is a small person who has often slid of the scale as he's so small. At one point I had a GP telling me I had to feed him more which was extremely stressful as he already ate plenty. I sought a couple more opinions (who said he was fine) and ended up letting it go. I think as long as they have healthy items to choose from they'll be ok :)
ReplyDeleteoh p.s - Keely is gorgeous and does not look one ounce over totally beautiful!
ReplyDeletei say put it totally out of mind.. keely is absolutely beautiful & seems such a happy, confident little person. you & her obviously have a strong relationship, so get those worries right out of your mind :)
ReplyDeleteYou put it out of your mind Hayley! Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous, she looks absolutely perfect to me! You are right that child obesity is rising way too quickly, I shudder when is see parents buying McDonalds of KFC for their overweight children in the food court.. my littlies don't even know it exists - they love sushi! You are obviously doing a wonderful job with Keely so don't you spend another minute thinking about it! Love your blog :)
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this the other day Hayley, when everyone at Mother's Group was so obsessed about how much their babies weigh and if they're overweight. They're babies for christsake!
ReplyDeleteKeely is a gorgeous little girl and I think you need not worry about her weight. I'm sorry to hear about your eating disorder, but I know you'll be a good mama and make sure little Keely grows up being happy and healthy in the skin she is in. xx
Thank you Hayley - you always blog from the heart and love that about you. I was told the same thing at my daughters 2 year old check up {how ridiculous} I went through exactly what you are feeling. After recent -unrelated- visit to the children's hospital - I'm just Thankful for a happy, smiley, healthy child.
ReplyDeleteThe BMI is a load of bullocks for kids and adults. Don't pay any attention to it...not even for a second. Enjoy any 'little kid chubbyness' she has left before it is gone for good! Keely is gorgeous. x
ReplyDeletePs my brother was such a solid little thing. At 4 years old my mum had to buy him size 8 clothes and alter the length..he was that chubby. Now he is over 6 foot, as lean as anything and can eat whatever he wants. Pfft to BMI!
I hate the whole BMI thing and personally think its a load of shite. Keely is absolutely gorgeous and clearly a healthy size and weight.
ReplyDeleteI still struggle with an eating disorder too, also a manifestation of abuse and the only way I could have any control over my life. It sucks that my brain still goes back to that place in times of high stress. Stupid brain.
I'm really late in on this but I just stumbled across this and it makes my blood BOIL (the 'issue' not the post). I just did a post similar to this on my experiences:
ReplyDeletehttp://ashleycomrie.blogspot.com/2010/10/if-you-have-daughter-please-read-this.html
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