Tuesday, April 20, 2010

the defeated mumma

My kids have never broken me. BUT yesterday, they did it, they broke me. A sleep deprived mum, with no sleep for 3 days from a screaming little boy did this, along with a 4 year old that wanted and needed everything.

I do feel for Taj and this teething is something I am sure I won't miss and neither will he. Taj is cutting his incisor teeth and I have heard they are the worst. I remember Keely struggling a bit with them, but not this much. It is not nice when you see your child in pain and panadol does nothing. I even tried the panadol for the first 2 hours and then nurofen the second 2 hours. It did nothing for him. He still cried, arched his back in pain and curled his toes under. He has also slept with me for the past 3 nights in a row.

how we have started today

I am not sure if it is teething and the sleep deprivation that has made me feel defeated, there is so much going on in my life this could have been the icing on the cake; (oh, how I would love a piece of cake right now)! I am sure like me, most of you, if not all of you have felt defeated in life in some way or another. It is however interesting how we can pick ourselves up, dust it all off and move on to the next phase in our lives. That sounds all too calm, and I know with the dusting there is pain and with the pain there is a lot of hurt to work through. But being through the things I have been through I know I will again pick my self up, dust myself off and move on to a new phase in my life.

I told you all a few times that I had hope that some things would work out in my life. Only last week I spoke about this. This hope has gone. When I have worked through my pain and I am ready for the next phase in my life I will tell you about my hope that is no longer. For now it is all about my beautiful children, myself, (although think I am meant to be first), my family, my friends, and my lovely Little Pinwheel.

Have you ever felt defeated in life? If so how do you deal with picking yourself off the ground? I start with chocolate, and lots of it! I also run and swim. They are the main things that help me clear my head ready to work through my pain.

For the record, while putting this post together, Taj pulled out all the toilet rolls out of the cupboard and ripped the toilet paper off! There are times when you cannot help but laugh and this is one of them!


  1. Hayley, The storm will pass it always does. I am very impressed with your healthy approach to dealing with things when they are flooring you. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. You should give him a Baltic Amber Teething necklace! Everyone raves about how well they work to take the pain away!

  3. Hi Hayley, I just started reading your blog a few days ago and it's been an absolute inspiration for me - craft mondays, 'easy parenting' strategies lol, trying to get that balance between family/self/work, your positive attitude towards parenting, etc.

    I had a very very challenging day yesterday with my 10 month old and my 2.5 year old boys, and I was actually nervous about starting today! But reading your post has given me another perspective and has helped me to look at starting the day with a more positive attitude :) Also helps to know other parents feel the same way sometimes!

    Thanks for this post and awesome blog! will definitely keep reading!


  4. Hayley - your amazing! Mum of two, online buisness and always seem so positive! We ALL have our days when we feel done and dusted - I love my remedy of coffee n a good girl chat with my closest friends where we can bi#ch n moan about life!! Kids r amazing, hard work but amazing. I went through some tough times prior to having kids, and always pushed and clawed my way thru. Since having kids, I can't believe my resilience and determination. Now when times get tough, I find myself kicking and fighting my way to the top again! Keep smiling - a smile will take u a long way to feeling better and know u r an inspiration to me!

  5. Hayley, I had just finished reading this post & was getting my two children a banana when my 4yo girl fell over, banana & all. My 2yo boy who has been suffering with pain the last couple of days (he & a tonka truck went flying over a verandah to fall 1.5m to the ground!) extended his arm that wasn't sore & kept saying 'hand, hand', he was offering to help her up! These moments are what makes us sane, puts a smile on our faces & lets us keep going!

    It seems like you have been going through a fair bit emotionally, with this I truely hope you can find the happiness you are looking for. Have you ever looked at it that maybe you were meant to have the parents you have, both biological & adopted so it could help make you into the wonderful mother you are for your two children? Keely & Taj are very lucky to have such a caring & creative mumma!

    Best wishes to you & your gorgeous children. x Liesl.

  6. ohh Hayley, it does get like that at times doesn't it.
    sometimes it's wonderful to have someone around to help pick up the pieces or even to just listen.
    i would love to send you a virtual piece of cake & a big hug.
    hope it gets better soon

  7. This too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass.
    Sorry to hear of your pain, so sorry lovely girl. Hey - you have my number xxx

  8. Hayley, you're a strong woman if this is the first time your kids have "broken" you, my gosh, I have "lost it" too many times and felt I couldn't go on. I'm sorry to hear about your personal pain. I hope your day gets better, and your week... Thank you for sharing.

  9. Goodness, I felt defeated after the first week of being a Mother so I think you are doing well. We all have days that we just wonder how we are going to get through and then, on the very next day something special can happen and it all changes. It's such a roller coaster isn't!?

  10. Hayley,
    You are a fab mother and you are doing a fabulous job. Yes it is hard work, it is a process that we all have to go through and we all have our tough times but to me I think is coming out the other side knowing that you have done a great job even when times are tough.

    Cheer up and look after yourself.

    Thank you so much for sharing
    Big Hugs Vicki X

  11. Dear Hayley.
    You are truly an angel if this is the first time your kids have driven you to the brink. And Keely is 4?!!! You must be insanely patient. I say losing the plot now and again with parenting is natural and normal. From my darker days of 3 new children almost all at once, I can now laugh about some of the days I lost the plot. The kids do too. Don't stress. As for the other stuff, wishing you strength X

  12. Hayley...I'm surprised it took all of this to finally break you. I'm broken at much less. I feel your pain. Do hang in there...it does end. Thinking of you dear friend. xoxo, Kristi

  13. So first of all I thought i must have written this post in a sleepy haze, but then realized it was our dear Hayley! FEELING YOUR PAIN SISTER!!!

    I will go to bed (with the intention to sleep) knowing there is another soul out there in the same boat.

    (leo is on my lap with 2 fingers in his ears making fish noises with his mouth)

  14. Oh Hayley, I have been reading your blog for months now and you have been such a breath of fresh air...it is so sad to hear you feel so low. It is easy to say it will pass - it may do, but that doesn't help you right now! I can only hope you draw strength from reminding yourself of your amazing achievements and what a fantastic mother and person you are...be kind to yourself my dear girl as you would be to anyone who told you they were feeling the way you are...I am sure you would give them a hug and have words of encouragement, reminding them to look into the eyes (and smiles) of their children and know that is because of YOU!

    I've just started blogging and it's partly because of your inspiration...Thank You!


  15. Hayley, wow you are a great Mom! Kenzie is almost two and I have had many defeated moments! Thankfully, I have a very patient hubby!! xo Lots of love to you and your adorable little sweeties!

    Rachelle xo

  16. Pretty sure i could have written this post!
    Hope you're feeling and coping better soon, and Taj too!



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