Thursday, April 14, 2011

the crossroad

There comes a time in your life where you have to believe in yourself more than you have ever believed in yourself before. Where you have to take all the awesome, all the positive and put that all first. Look at that. And I mean really look at that for as long as it takes for you to see through it, which will enable you to take on that crossroad. Head on.

We all face crossroads. You can go one way or the other. It is an everyday thing. There are times when that crossroad is dark, cold, and very scary. That is the moment where you need to turn to the left, and turn to the right. Grab those hands from your friends, from your family, take a deep breath, close those eyes, suck up the pain of your anxiety and take the step. The step.

I am there. I stand there. I have turned to the left and I have turned to the right. I hold the hands of my friends with one tight grip. The grip of fear. There is a lot of fear. To admit that you are scared, is the first step.

I am facing the anxiety right now. It hurts. It hurts that much it is painful to breathe. To get through the day I run. I run to get rid of it. To clear all that pain. To dance. To dance and remember that I dance for my heart. I dance to that beat. I am twirling that fast, I believe I cannot stop. There is no stopping me. I need to take that. That happiness, and that person, and take the deepest breath to take that step.

Time to move. Breathe through the pain. And have a whole lot of hope. Hope gives me strength.

There are times when it is ok to look back. To turn your head and see where you have walked. It helps to see the past, and see how far you have come. That is strength in itself.

I am not sure which way I will go. All I know is I will go with a whole lot of heart, and with my little people standing at the end waiting for their mum.


  1. I admire you for your words, you expressing yourself. I really really do.
    I had just recently a weekend by myself in Sydney (live in Auckland) and did exactly that: take a breath, look back, left, right and ahead. And I danced. Still do. Just can't stop.
    (my favourite on her upbeat songs is Regina Spektor, esp the London Live recordings.)

    xox anja (anya)

  2. Beautiful Hayley...inspiring as usual! Love your tan Salts...just like mine which I also love :)



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