Monday, May 16, 2011

I am running

It is hard to back up a post after sharing a post I still kind of wish I did not publish. I am embarrassed to admit what I admitted. I by far feel like a role model to my children. There is no way I ever want them to face this illness. An illness I know like many mothers, I want to protect them from. I do hope that facing this, I can help my children avoid it.

I did not want to say I was having a hard time. I truly am happy, and then to say I am hurting myself by not eating was hard to admit.

Sometimes we forget to put ourselves first as mothers, or parents. This was me forgetting. I forgot that in order for me to be an awesome mum, and person, I had to look after me. I was suppressing the hurt, and I was forgetting to eat. I was not making time to eat. It is also easier to avoid a decision, then to make the decision.

My dancing shoes are on. I am dancing. And I am eating.

I am running down that road. I found the right way to turn, and I am running. {It may not be the right way to others, but it was my decision, and I believe that makes it the right way}.

{Thank you to my beautiful daughter, Keely, who took these images of me drinking my peppermint tea. An awesome photographer. But apparently, she is going to be a doctor, not a photographer}!


  1. don't be embarrassed. i know there is still huge stigma attached to having an E.D. You are not any less of a good mother by admitting you suffer from this horrible disease. you wouldn't be embarrassed if you admitted you had diabetes and you wouldn't feel like a bad role model to you babies for having it either. It is a rollercoaster ride, just like other mental illnesses and you will have ups and downs. It is part of the illness and often not a choice. It is a choice to get help and you have done that! You are also not alone in your battle. I have been running down the same path as you. I have to remind myself that the further you run down the dark path, the harder it is to get back to the light where you started. x

  2. proud of you, don't have any regrets!

  3. I was first inspired by your bravery and its why I continue to visit you, not only to to see how youre doing what it is that you do, but to be inspired to have your courage. x

  4. It is bringing back so much reading your posts... I started eating again 5 years ago... I still have moments of not and considering to limit it... I have now learnt it makes my mind physically ill. We need food to survive. xoxo



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