I had just finished watching my chick flick last friday when I have came back to my computer to find an anonymous comment on my blog about a shared loneliness. I may have sat there watching my movie on my own, but it won't be forever. It is true what this lady said. I will also one day have my children old enough to be watching a movie with me. Sitting eating popcorn, or in my case eating way too much chocolate. Yes, I sat here crying over a movie that was so much more then a chick flick. But I also sat here thinking that I am not the only one. I am not the only one that has little people sound asleep and watching movies on my own.
I hope that I do not write a blog that has a lot of sadness. I sometimes wonder if I come across like poor me. I am happy too. I do have great times, more so then bad times now. Yes, I still cry over the loss of my mum. I think I always will. But I also smile and laugh at our times we had together. I am living a life I did not think I would live. I never thought I would sit at home on my own with two little people that were mine. I have made choices in my life. We all make choices, and I made a big one to end my marriage. It was a choice, not a path I chose my life to go in. But sometimes we have to make these choices. The hard decisions.
I hope one day I will find love again. I hope one day I will have someone to watch a movie with me on a friday night. But, if that person, or people are my children, then I know I will still be happy. There is so much more to life then sharing it with someone. I share mine with two gorgeous people, and a loving memory of my mum.
I had a girlfriend tell me on that same friday that I am happier. I seem to be comfortable within me and have confidence. She is right. I am happier, comfortable within me and I do have confidence. It was nice to hear it. Sometimes we just need to hear it to know it ourselves.
I have started writing more, so if you are lucky you may just see me pop up somewhere else around the blog world. Keep an eye out, and if you cannot find me, you can always ask!
{the images above of Keely and Taj are the aftermath of our girl time at the movies. we saw shrek in 3D, hence the cool shades}!
Some of us are lonely even when we have partners.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to be lonely and alone, than lonely with someone else. xx
I was about to say the same thing as Lauren above! I have a partner and every Friday night is spent sitting on the sofa alone, 2 kids in bed and my husband snoring on the sofa next tó me. I always end up watching my dvds alone...at least you dont have the snoring! x
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you felt so alone watching a movie. I used to reveal in the quite times at the cinema (by myself by choice), with my favourite drink, home-made sandwich and sweet to follow up.
ReplyDeleteI could always get my top seat, back row, top of the stairs. You see I had been retrenched and this was my only vice inbetween jobs this one summer.
Until I had tried this I did not realise how 'cool' it is to enjoy a film alone.
As for home movies I'm always solo on these.
But life is about simplicity, having fun and hopefully looking upwards most of the time. Whilst it's hard, it's certainly worth trying.
Love your blog.
Hugs Pip