Thursday, August 12, 2010

my mum

We carried mum in. This is something we wanted to do for her. It was like she walked in front of hundreds of people that had walked in her life. It was powerful. More then I could have ever imagine it to be. I had my 7 month old baby girl sitting in the front row ready to hold me. I didn't look at anyone. I just walked. I couldn't look. I had tears rolling down each cheek. I felt their tears. I could hear their cries. Hundreds of cries. They were all there for her. My mum. I knew she was special. Like no other person you would ever meet in your life. And so did they.


Just breathe.

That is what I did. I sucked in the tiny amount of air I could. I stood before my mum's friends and I spoke about her. My mum in words. Mumso, Joan, Joanie, Clayton. There are many names mum went by. It wouldn't matter what you called her, she was always there for you. She did it her way.


That was mum; a lady who was completely there for you, but in her way. She was not affectionate. She told you she loved you. She gave you cuddles. She would even wipe your tears. But she did it differently; her way.

Mum did a lot in her short life. If anything would stand out for me it would be here sheer determination to make everything perfect for the people around her. The way she let me live my life. For me to learn from my own mistakes, but to always be there quietly in the background ready to catch me if I fell. Or with that hand that would be pushing me to my success.


Mum never did anything she didn't want to do. She still smeared vegemite all over her face and sung that she was a happy little vegemite for charity. She hated vegemite.

Today I remember mum. I will laugh. I will cry. I will hold her tight all day. I will breathe that tiny amount of air. I will remember and never forget. My mum, my mumso.

20 comments:

  1. No words. Just a small hand to hold you up today and all the other days. My thoughts are with you today and always Hayley. xx

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  2. Your Mom sounded like such a wonderful, and incredible Mother! So loving and caring!

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  3. Thinking of you today, with all of your beautiful memories, your mum sounds like she is a strong influence in your life and always will be. She sounds 100% completely rad.

    Have you read Joan Didion's 'The Year of Magical Thinking'? It is a really beautiful read, one of my favourite books of all time. You might like it. x

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  4. You don’t know me but, my heart goes out to you today. I am sending online hugs your way. Your mum sounds lovely and very special.

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  5. So lucky to have such wonderful memories of your dear mum, big hug

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  6. Big hugs for you Hayley! Will be thinking of you today.
    x

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  7. Your mum sounds amazing. I'm so honoured to be celebrating her life tonight, with you, my beautiful friend. Have a gorgeous day remembering her. See you soon. xxxx

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  8. A tough thing to go through...
    Hugs to you.
    She sounds like an amazing woman.

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  9. you are in my prayers today x

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  10. Thankyou, thankyou for sharing your mum with us she sounds like a wonderful and generous women and I can see how you have taken on some of her qualities purely from reading your blog. She will live in you always, thinking of you today as you celebrate her life and grieve for your loss. Take care of yourself.

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  11. Your mum sound as amazing as you. Big hugs today. You've been in my thoughts as much today as every day. x

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  12. Hayley,

    She, like you, sounds amazing.

    Much, much, much love to you.

    xo

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  13. Thank you for remembering your mum with us today. I love the Vegemite anecdote. You sure do have a way with words...

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  14. you are amazing. how you breathe a tiny bit of air in your coping. that says so much about the grief inside. powerful words. you are a powerful gorgeous person. much love jillian. x

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  15. hugs hayley, she is with you always, and is pulling you through this. t.x.

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  16. so beautiful.
    your mum was so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter.

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