the brick wall

Do you ever feel you are hitting your head against a brick wall? You know deep inside that you are walking on a good path, but there are walls to jump over. There are even walls that are so high you have to work your way through them, as there is no way around them. Well I am trying to work my way through a wall right now. I am not too sure what is on the other side, but one can only hope that it is not another wall.

I am feeling a little stuck. Maybe a little unsure of where I am going. I am happy. But there is something that is making me not as happy as I would like to be. Little Pinwheel is going great. I am loving every bit of it. I love the customer service, and the customers. I love the fact all the new summer stock is coming and has started to arrive. There is a lot of positive out of a change of season, and I am not just talking about clothes.

People become happier when the sun is shining. Those who hibernated away for the winter start to come out again. It is like you are reborn. Although for me I have been out and about. Splashing in those puddles, walking in the wind and the rain, and also playing in the winter sunlight. I think personally for me right now I have a lot going on. I have to respect myself more and not punish myself. I have changed a lot in four years. I have changed a lot this year. I have had to. There is no choice but to grow stronger. But there are also the times when it is easier to punish myself and not hear my own cries from deep inside.

I am not the only one. I have no doubt all of what I am saying is part of your lives too. We all have our things, and what maybe be a small thing to one, will be a big thing for another. There is no comparison. Life can be hard. There are hurdles. They are there everyday. It is just how we deal with them and most importantly how we look after ourselves while doing so. That is the part I am trying to learn.

It is time to be gentle with me.