Sometimes the simple things in life are what build us up inside, and personally make us better people. I believe in karma. I believe that if I give myself in certain ways I will live a life that is full of surprises. There is a whole lot of soul searching happening for me right now. Trying to figure out the person I am, and why people around me can alter that in ways that are out of my control. I guess when one is sick they think too much, and clearly I am thinking too much.
At the same time I think it is nice to do this inner body clean out. It keeps one grounded with the reality of life, and the reality of feelings. I unfortunately have lost someone in my life in the past two weeks, and it is taking a lot out of me. It is questioning me as a person, and it is making me wonder why I continue to get hurt. I guess that is normal to question yourself. I am lucky to have beautiful friends that tell me not to change one little bit. I am me, and sometimes the choices in my life, and the things around me are out of my control.
A simple thing today has made my day. The simple comment from a lady in a supermarket that watched me discipline Taj. He had been hitting me. I was very calm, went to his level and picked up the yoghurts he had thrown on the ground. (Yes he had a tantrum whilst smacking me one). I did my thing, explained that I do not smack him, and he should not smack me, as it hurts. I said a few other things, but it is what the lady said to me that I remember. She told me I am doing really well, that my son will grow up a better person, because of the way I disciplined him. It has made my day. (But know I am no perfect mum. I have moments when I am not so calm. I have moments where I loose it). I just want to be a good mum. And this woman told me I was doing that.
It is these small things, and the simple thanks from friends that make me realise that I don't need to change. I will loose people in my life, even people I thought would stay forever, but I will always have those who respect and understand the person I am. And I will always have strangers that will comment, some good and some bad. I won't change. I am me.
An overanalysing sick me! Soul searching done. (Until the next crossroad in my life).
Be yourself, there is no better person to be.
Enjoy your weekend. A very quiet one for me, with my two beautiful children, ace friends, and a whole lot of craft. Rock on!
xx
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