Wednesday, March 17, 2010

my ear infection

Last night I was in so much pain with my virus spreading to my ears. It brought back so many childhood nightmares of ear infections and the pain I went through back then. I have found a new respect for my son and what he goes through each time he has an ear infection. To be honest, and I don't know if I am being a really big sook, but I don't know how he does it. I struggled to get through the pain.

I did have antibiotics I was given when I went to see my doctor, but only took them for one day. I know what you might be thinking, deserves me right for not following through with the medicine I was given, but I did have good reason to stop taking them. When I was hit with a truck on friday, not literally, but it felt like it, I went to a local doctor as my doctor was on a conference all week. I am not a fan of this doctor as he was the one I took my mum to see days before she passed away. With this in the back of my head I was not happy with being another number, spending 2 minutes in his office with a script for an antibiotic. He only took the time to look in my throat and tell me I had an infection; I could have told him that, and then he listened to my chest and said I needed asthma medication again. That was it and I was out the door. Maybe if he looked in my ears he would have seen they were red and I was at the beginning of an ear infection. But now I am only speculating as I do not like him.

I do not like him for letting my mum walk out of his office with swelling in her legs and feet, which I was later told in emergency should have made that doctor realise she was having liver problems again. This is a big sign. My mum was unfortunately one of those people that took an antibiotic that had a side effect. She was that one in one million chance of having liver damage. You probably don't even think they exist, but my mum was one of them. She lived with this for a few years until 3 years ago when she caught a gastro bug that was going around at the nursing home she was working at. It didn't take long and my mum was really sick. We lost days just from going to see him, which now I know were precious days and moments. Days that should have been spent with her in hospital getting better. But he missed it, spent the time to send mum off to get blood tests. The tests that he would have known the results for. Why did he waste time?

These are questions I will never know the answers to, unless I push for it to go further, but I don't have the strength and it won't bring mum back. There are many questions I do not know the answers to. This is a passing I will never really understand. All I know is I lost her too quick and it was so unexpected. To find my mum as sick as she was is something I wish I could wipe from my memory. No one should ever have to find their mum like I did.

I have gone completely off my ears! I quite like the way writing from your heart can bring out so many other words that obviously need to come out. The written word is wonderful, made me forget about my pain for a little while! Plus now you know a little more about me and why I go to see a natural doctor.


  1. oh...big hug and i send you all of my good thoughts and positive energie...i know this earproblem, too...;( watch to you and take a break...and i think to you...warmly ines

    p.s.thanks for sharing this with us...touching...

  2. Hi Hayley
    How heartbreaking for you to even go in his rooms and good on oyu for leaving. Hope you feel better soon. Take care Big Hugs
    Vicki xo

  3. Oh, Hayley...I'm so sorry that you haven't been well and I'm sorry you had to go to that Dr. Do know that I'm thinking of you and your in my prayers. I'll follow Ines' lead and send a big hug your way too. Do feel better my dear. ♥

  4. Great post Hayley! Sorry to hear that you haven't been well they can really knock you around. Its very hard if you don't have a doctor that you can trust, and frankly appalling that he didn't look in your ears. I hope that you feel better soon and glad you got some things off your chest. Much love

  5. i love your blog. im sending good energy your way. when i read your blog i think about what a brilliant person you are. i hope to one day meet you at pulp life (my fav store in the whole world). i hope to meet mamma bear there one day. i know you are dear friends. ive seen you on her blog. what a wonderful world you are creating. i just needed to tell you this. j x



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