the running drop shot

My mum was never a runner, she preferred squash. Mum could hit that little black ball with sheer force, and she was the drop shot queen. Or more like the pain in the butt to her fellow players. She had this way about her when it came to sport. Mum rocked at the things she loved doing.

However she would not dream of running. Today she ran with me. For the first time I took her with me.

This might sound random to some of you, and maybe all of you. When my coach told me to take her with me on my runs, I was a little taken back. It made me cry, naturally. Today I needed her.

When I run I play with my mind. Sometimes I am in complete meditation. No thinking. No mind games. Just running. Just me and those legs. When I am not in a runner's meditation I am thinking about life; everything really. Trying to work through my life list.

I now have two lists. One list is the things I can control, and the other list is the things I cannot control. Last night, 20 minutes after pressing publish to my awesome, "hello" day, I broke one of mum's wine glasses. The set of six was no longer. I didn't cry. I just sat in the middle of shattered glass for an hour. If my day had been different I would have been a mess. But instead I sat there.

I sucked it up, and thought about my mum's set of five wine glasses. I had new memories of mum; going to the shops with one glass to try and match the five to make it a set of six. We never could match them. Sometimes the five would turn to four, and mum had a set again. A new set.

There are things I cannot control in life. There are things I need to roll with, and let go of. I cannot control the fact I broke the glass. I cannot control the fact I lost my mum. I cannot blame myself. I could not control the fact she was really sick.

I can control my mind when it comes to running. Today I took mum with me, not all the way. I picked her up along the way. A butterfly flicked above my forehead as I ran down the dirt track, the ocean was in front of me, lizards were at my feet at every turn, {quietly freaking me out}, the bush was on each side of me, and my mum was there keeping my head strong.

I love running. I love my mum. And she will have to learn to love running. She needs to teach me some of those drop shots*.

*I am not too sure what a running drop shot is. I am hoping that my strong mind will teach me!