Monday, November 21, 2011

the naked truth parenting

What do you do when it becomes too hard. Do you rock in the corner. Cry. Scream. Find the nearest wall, and start bashing your head. Or do you withdraw and hope that this hard part of parenting will pass?

Why do mothers rock in that corner on their own? Wouldn't it be nicer to have a friend or someone that cares pick you up, and help you stand on those two feet.

Easy to say. But when you are that person in the corner rocking, or wanting to walk out that door, you don't speak up.


Is this judgement of parenting; just because you stand up and say this is hard, you are less the mum that you know you are?

I am not coping. I am exhausted. I have had to have more blood tests. More iron injected into my body. I can't yell anymore. I just cry. I sob. I have an almost 6 year old rubbing my back telling me that it will be ok. And the thing is, it will be ok again.

This is parenting. I believe we should be able to say how proud we are of our children, how we rocked the mother of the year for the day, and then on the other hand be able to say that the day was hard. That right now you are not coping. You are the woman in the corner. You are the woman that can no longer yell, because it takes less energy to cry.

Parenting is hard, rewarding and something I love. There is no way I could walk out that door on my little people, and there is no way I will sit here and cry in the corner on my own, even if it is my almost 6 year old sitting in the corner crying with me.

But the naked truth is, I wanted to walk out the door. I wanted to bash my head against the wall. Instead I cried with my daughter, and wrote this blog post.


  1. I have had those days (my latest post is how my son is giving me such a hard time!)
    Being a mum is bloody hard work because we try to do it all and its so hard for us to admit that maybe we cant do it all all of the time!
    Thinking of you.

  2. It's OK to find it hard, and even more OK to admit that it is hard. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to parenting and the expectations that come. Tomorrow is another day. Sending you hugs and lots of love x

  3. Wow! You have just described parenting exactly from the heart! My heart.. You are such a inspiring woman, single parent to two adorable little cuties, and running a fantastic buisness, and can write a blog straight from the heart!!!! Thankyou for sharing, I now don't feel so strange or alone. :-)

  4. Hayley, you do rock, even when you're rocking in the corner. Parenting's hard enough when you have someone else to tag and take over when you just need some breathing space. I hope that posting this has given you a little strength, and that those injections kick in soon. Much love to you, awesome woman that you are. xxx

  5. You need a fresh air break and some time off-schedule. Can you make this happen, even for half a day? It's the only way I can restore my parenting Mojo, and oh yes, a period always helps relieve my mood swings too. It's OK to collapse in a puddle and to take a few days, weeks slowly, skip a training session, skip an activity, pack a crummy lunch and not wash your hair. Taking it easy on yourself has its rewards, you find your zenfulness (sic) and your mojo. Hope you can find your way through this difficult parenting time. Parenting is the hardest job I've ever had, the most demanding and the most rewarding (of course). The world's not going to stop if you do for a couple of days. Head off to bed and read a book and have a long snuggle under the doona. xxx

  6. Lizey, I read your post. I do not have a son at his age, but I do hope that you are not feeling so alone. We can bash our heads together! (A giggle always makes me feel better). And you are right, we cannot do it all the time. But we do try to wear those superwoman pants. x

  7. jane, I wish I could take time out.... I am working on this though, but I am not good on confrontation. This is a touchy subject, and part of the hard road of single parenting I am on right now. Hence why I need my son in another day of care, and of course because the business is really busy, and very much a full time job. My little girl is sleeping in my bed, as she wanted to be in there tonight after sobbing with me. I think she can stay in there, and I will have a snuggle with her.

    Thank you xx

  8. So sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I would like to say that it will get easier but it doesn't - sometimes the older they get, the harder it gets. Just know that there is help if you need it - we are only an e-mail / phone call away.

  9. Hi Hayley, I don't know you personally but I read your blog and shop on your website.
    I am a working of mum of 2 kids as well and I know its really, really hard. All I can say is that your kids look super happy so even though you are struggling you are doing an amazing job raising them.
    I often find nights really hard but usually the next day I feel better, I really hope that tomorrow is better for you.
    I don't normally write comments but I thought this post I should. I think your honesty is amazing xx

  10. Big hugs Hayley! I love your honesty when it comes to parenting.
    Is it a full moon or something, JP was driving me bonkers today too! Decided to try some retail therapy - bad idea with a three year old boy, who seemed to get out of bed the wrong side this morning! It was 'I want this, I want that and them screaming, I got so many dirty un-approving stares! Met a friend from my old mothers group, and of course her child does no wrong and is utterly perfect, bleurgh! I went home with my purchase of a family bar of chocolate!
    Don't feel alone Hayley, drop me a line anytime for a vent x

  11. Sending love and hugs - lots of them. You are not alone Hayley. Breathe deep, snuggle with your little people and remember tomorrow is another day. You are amazing. And I am here in the corner too if you need anything. xx

  12. everyone has days like this & everyone needs a little break sometimes. you obviously love your kiddyliwinks & you are obviously loved right back. don't be so hard on yourself sista!

  13. Snuggling and love are a two way street, snuggle begets snuggle and helps produce loved up endorphins. Go the snuggle and I hope you've woken up revived and restored. Count down the days until Christmas and plan some champagne with girlfriends. You will find your mojo again my friend.

  14. Aww, I know how you feel! Parenting is exhausting and I can't even imagine doing it on my own! I have so much respect for you H, you do it all and it is definitely not a weakness to admit that it's hard. I've had problems in the past wit anaemia and I know how bad it makes you feel. You will get through it, you are so strong. Everyone used to say to me, 'just eat a big steak' (I am vegetarian) so I would just laugh! Maybe would work for you though! Lol! You are amazing lady!! #rockon my IG friend xxx. Love Claire (kawaiigirl79)

  15. Oh lady, I hope you find some answers for your health and things calm down. Parenting is the most challenging job in the world, even when everything is going great in your life. Hang in there. Kellie xx

  16. Gosh it is hard work at times Hayley...good to hear I am not the only mum who has those moments, take it easy x

  17. Always here to listen Hayley.
    Take off the superWoman pants and hang them up for a while. Think easy meals, easy afternoons on the beach while you sip coffee (maybe dare I suggest it, decaf so you can sleep later) and no expectations. Just go with it. You do such an awesome job and all on your own. That can't be easy.
    I know I am on the other side of the bridge but would love to have you and the littles over for an play and a natter. (is that weird and creepy? Hope not!)

    Go easy Hayley. You can do it. You can ROCK it. Xxx

    Peta from Musingsofamartin

  18. Peta that is not creepy at all... that is nice! I will leave my superwoman outfit at home... Taj will be upset. He is batman. xx



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