Wednesday, November 23, 2011

the rock of love

Can you feel it? I heard Michael Jackson ask me that question. I was running at the time, and my answer to his question was, 'rock on!'

Today was an exceptionally hard day. I was on the rock. The rock bottom rock. That rock that is only temporary. The same rock you can see yourself dancing on, after you have had your rocking in the corner, and you have sucked it up.

I was told by my almost 6 year old that she hates me. That she does not like her dad's new girlfriend, and she does not want to go to his house. She wanted to stay with me, and that was after she told me she hated me. There is a lot of love in that hate. Although it still hurt. And I have no doubt it won't be the last time she says those words to me.

Thank you for the comments on my last post. I am rocking in a few areas of my life, (the good rocking), and I am trying to stand up, and start to dance again.

Tomorrow is a whole new day, and even if it sucks I have no doubt I will learn more. Those bruises on me from the kicking while I am down will fade, and I will get that groove back.

I wish I could write a manual on single parenting, and parenting alone. And do not get me started on the dating thing. That I do not get. I am waiting for that man on the white horse now. All you can do is try in parenting, be myself, and have a whole lot of hope.

What worries me, will master me.

{thanks to my coach, I am going to use that to help me run smarter, and to also stand up and start dancing..... can you feel it}.

*I know I have shared the image above of my little people before, but right now I need it there. They mean more than anything to me. They are the two little people that make up this little family of three.


  1. I hate that you hit the rock but I'm heartened that you know it is a fleeting thing, and will pass, even though it feels endless at the time.
    your girl doesn't hate you for even a second, she's just struggling like you maybe? but for different reasons, and lashing out at the one she loves the most. I'm guessing. But you know she adores you. As do I. Keep rocking xxx

  2. Big love to you lady. Don't forget for even a single second that you are doing an AMAZING job.

  3. i can feel it, i feel it with you, and you have a whole circle of friends standing together, holding hands, holding your hand and being there for you.

    i can only imagine that it must cut deep when your child says the h word to you. of course she doesn't mean it, and of course she will say it again {we'll be here in 8-10 years time reading a similar blog post when she is a teenager, i bet!}. in her only way she knows how to right now, she is just trying to protect her mumma.

    we're all here, lending you our shoulder blease, keep on keepin on hun xx

  4. That really sucks and I dread the day that the H word will be said to me:( But as Bec said above, she doesn't mean it. Doesnt make it hurt any less though! Get up on that rock and dance again H, hugs, Claire xx #rockon :)



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