people watching

This week I am launching into a new column I am going to be writing on my blog. I will be doing this every week for the next 5 weeks, on a wednesday. This is part of my growth as a blogger and also as a person. This is the confidence I need to keep writing and sharing experiences and having some fun at the same time.

Ok, so what am I up to and what is this column going to be all about? You have seen the title of this post, people watching, and this is something I love to do. I not only watch people, I analyse them, trying to figure out about their lives, what they do, how they are as people and it also gets to the extent of watching how people watch me as a person. I try and figure out by their expressions and body language what they think of me as a person, and especially as a mother.

Being a mother is one thing I do try to do very well, but there are moments of exhaustion where I will go with the flow maybe a little too much. Although this may also be me analysing too much of what others are thinking. I am probably just doing what other mums are also doing. What we are "meant" to do.

I figure when it comes to motherhood there will always be one person that will judge you in a negative way and that is when you need to be confident in your choices you make for your children and believe you are being the best mum you can be.

As this is the first week launching into my column, I am going to share a little of what I wrote the other day sitting in my cafe. I call it my cafe as it is a place I go everyday, kind of a second home! I will not share all of what I wrote, but it will give you an idea of where I am at in my life, how I am feeling as a mother and how my people watching influenced my life and how it made me think a lot more about the choices I was and am making.

What makes a person lonely? Because a lady in her 60's sits at a cafe on her own, with a book and her lunch she looks lonely. But is she at peace with her own company and enjoying some me time while her family is at home? Or is she really lonely? If she is, where did it go wrong? When did she become a person that sits with sadness, a good book and a great coffee? Does she have children, a husband, or did she have a husband?

I analysed this lady as I wondered about my future, where my life is going to be. I have a husband and children, but still feel a great amount of loneliness. As I write this, I sit at the same cafe as her, with my book, pen and my coffee. I sit here alone. Where did it change in my life to be this person, the lonely woman with sadness on her face?

At 32 am I going to be 60 and still sitting here alone? Am I destined to be alone? Who will support me?

I am facing some huge choices in my life and ones that will shape my future. Decisions that will affect everyone around me. I saw this particular lady a couple of weeks a go and the thought of her sitting at the cafe alone has not escaped my mind. I thought if I write about it then it will become clearer to me why she is still in my head and my watching has become more analysing my own life.

I am sure over the next 5 weeks there will be some different posts and ones that I hope you can relate to in some way. I would love to also know what you think as my readers. I love your comments and this is what encourages me to share a lot more about life as a mum behind Little Pinwheel.

I chose the images I did for this post as I love some of the quotes in the book, Family, and the book fits well with this weeks people watching. "Joy is not in things, it is in us." Richard Wagner