Thursday, February 25, 2010

the search update

It has been a while since I spoke about the search for my biological father, and yesterday to my surprise I received a phone call with the progress on the search. Last I had heard was that I needed to write a letter to him, including some recent images and once they found where he was living they would post this with a formal letter that they write to him.

The phone call was received late in the afternoon when I had the little ones down the beach. It was super windy and the kids were having a great time kicking the soccer ball around on the concrete. The lady introduced herself and we got talking in general and she then told me that my biological father had his name down on the reunion registry. This meant that if I ever put my name down that we would then be in contact. When you fill out all the forms to start searching for your biological parents there is a form that you can tick and sign to say you would like your information to go on the registry and if a match is found they will contact you. I guess with it being so long since I first started the search I was not expecting this call. I thought they would have known this information instantly.

As I said it was super windy and the lady commented at how windy it was and it was hard to hear me. She asked if she could ring me when it was easier to talk. I then told her I could hear her fine and she was not allowed to ring me with this news and then call me back later! Seriously, would you hang up when someone had told you that there was hope you would be meeting your biological father?

Having a terrible childhood with my adoptive father, this was the news I had been waiting for and to know he had his name down shows that he does want to meet me. I also need to not get too excited as his life may have changed since registering and he may now not want to meet me. I do have hope though, you just have to. I know I hope a little for the perfect father, but really who wouldn't after having their childhood innocence taken away from them?

From here they get in contact with him from the address he had left them. They send him a letter informing him that they have found me and that I would like to be in contact and then we wait and hope that he then contacts them. It will be within the month. Yes, only a short 4 weeks and I will know if he wants to be a part of my life. As you could imagine the emotions I am feeling are overwhelming. There is excitement, fear and a lot of hope. I am thinking about my mum so much right now as I know she wanted this to happen for me. I wish she was here in real life to be with me as it all unfolds, but I know she is still here holding my hand.

I was allowed to tell him a few things, well they tell him for me in the letter that they post him. I of course had to mention that I have two children. I now have hope that I will be in contact with him.

My father's name is Robert!

I wonder if he is known as just Robert, or Rob, or Bob?


  1. Wow, Hayley. This is so powerful to read, I can only begin to imagine how you feel. You are so brave, and have so much love. I hope your Dad can feel it reaching out to him. Ange xxxooo

  2. You are so brave, what a roller coaster of emotions you must be going through. Exciting and frightening at the same time. Good luck!

    Angie :-)

    PS: My dad is Robert (Bob), and my kids call him GrandBob!

  3. Wow Hayley! what an emotional rollercoaster you must be on right now. I wish oyu lots of luck and that everything unfolds the way oyu would like it to.
    Big hugs
    Vicki xo

  4. I hope you find your father & that he still wants to be part of your life - but why wouldn't he! I lost my father 6yrs ago to cancer & would love the opportunity to see him again (one day), but for you it is a whole different adventure, one that I hope ends with "happily ever after!" xo

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  6. This is one of the most moving posts I have ever read. ANd I'm afraid I got into a confessional mode. I dont know what I was thinking. I hope you dont think I'm an unthinking moron- May I please request you to not publish the previous comment. God knows where it might float on the internet & may show up in some search. Holly had told us to think before hitting the publish button & thats exactly what I didn't do. I'm sorry about this Hayley. I looked for an id where I could write to you, but found only one to write to your shop for info. So a comment. I hope you understand.

  7. Wow, Hayley! Your post brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible, amazing, nerve wracking, exciting thing to be happening to you! I hope so much for you that you get to meet your father and that it will bring life and healing to you. Big hugs!!

  8. Hayley, I am in tears right now. I am feeling encouraged, scared, faithful, and unsure. I to have a search that I have been wanting to start. I have an older sister who was given up for adoption. I just have had a hard time coming to terms with how to approach wanting to find her with my Mom. I know she would love to find her but I think she is beyond scared of facing her and having to explain why she did what she did. I know that during this time things were VERY different and my grandmother thought she was doing what would be best for my Mom {who was only 17 at the time}. I feel I am getting signs more and more often that it is time for me to begin this journey.


  9. Hayely, I am swelling up with tears right now! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I will be praying everything will turn out for the good, and that you will get to meet your biological father...That healing will come for the both of you. :)

    Rachelle xo

  10. Wow!! That's all such huge stuff. All the best Hayley and I really hope the outcome for this is as good, if not better than you hope. xo

    I saw the baby photo of you above and thought it was Taj!! So much alike!!

  11. You deserve so much joy as you are such a kind person!
    Thinking about you whilst you go on this journey!

  12. Hayley, this is very moving. Very. I have only just 'intermet' you but already I am wishing so hard that this story brings you what you seek. Brave you for even embarking on the journey. And thank you for sharing it.

  13. wow, thank you so much for all your kind words!

    Amy, go with your heart. I am always here to help you in anyway with what I have been through and going through. xo

  14. I have just been catching up on your entire story from the beginning, and you seem so lovely, and I am all welled up reading about this amazing news! Good luck on the rest of this journey!



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