Monday, February 27, 2012

teaching them how to count

When I was younger, I liked to be liked by others. I was never the popular kid at school, but I was friends with everyone. The cool group would talk to me, as would the nerds. I was in that middle group, and I was happy being liked by everyone.

I still feel that today. As an adult, I still like to be liked. And today, there are a lot more places for you to feel like you are not part of the cool group, or you are not liked as much as someone else might be liked. It is all there in numbers. It is all there in likes, friend counts, and comments on blog posts.

For me, it can take away a blogging mojo, or it can take away my confidence as a friend. What does this do to our little people? They are growing up into a world that is all about numbers. The more numbers, the more you are liked.

There are a lot of things we need to teach our little people, and this is one to add to the list of ways to show them what it means to be a friend, a true friend.

My mum said to me, and she said this a lot due to my feelings of being liked, 'Hayley, if you can count your true friends on one hand, and fill that hand, you are doing well.'

That is what I will teach my children. I am sure they can count to 5. It is easier than counting to over 500, and at least they would know every single one of their friends names.


  1. Totally agree! The numbers thing has nothing o do with friendship or goodness or even popularity.

  2. You're so wise....and so was your Mum.

  3. This is so very true. Urgh it's tough when we are all such vulnerable creatures but I agree, special close friends, even if you only have 1, is far more precious than being 'popular'.

  4. While everyone likes to feel popular, I'm sure some of those people with the 500 facebook friends, numerous Instagram followers, Google+1 likes, etc, etc, actually have very few true friends. So many people these days are very shallow, they ask how you are but don't even bother listening to your response as they're too busy seeing who else is around or what the latest update is on their iPhone. You can be constantly surrounded by a crowd of 'friends', whether physically or cyberly (I made that word up but you know what I mean ;o), but feel very lonely as while all these people want to appear to be friends with you (for whatever reason), very few of them actually know the real you. I really appreciate my true friends and only have a few of them due to myself and them moving around the world at regular intervals. But I also sometimes get sucked in by the numbers. If only there was a switch in our brains to become immune to the peer pressures of this world :o). Good luck with helping your little people learn the difference between real friends and would be a hard lesson to teach I think but one that will benefit them for ever.



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