happy birthday mumso & number two little pinwheel

To know she is proud. To know that she walks by my side is all I need. I miss my mum. I am doing awesome in so many ways in my life, and I cannot tell you how much that hurts to not have her here to see me succeed in my life.

To walk forward; and not look back, to hold my head up high; and not too high, to dance to the beat of my own heart; and to one day dance with someone else, to rock it; and to rock it with my little people, to laugh with my friends; and to laugh with new friends, to smile at a stranger; and have a stranger smile right back at me, to walk on my own; and to walk with someone new, to make fun of myself; and to laugh at my own jokes, to have someone laugh at me; and for me to laugh with them, to be me; and to be me with my mum in my heart.

I am grateful.

Happy number two Little Pinwheel, and happy 63rd birthday to my Mumso.

There has not been one day where I have not thought of you. It still hurts as much as it did the day I saw you take your last breath. Forever in my heart. Forever you are me.

love x

the sore post

I have nothing to say. Actually that is a lie, as I am here, and I am typing away and seeing what I come out with. Right now I am hurting.

I was running, and had my line. Runners have a line they run. It might not be a straight road, but there is always a line. Two walkers taking up the whole footpath did not move, and in turn I had been nudged off onto the grass, and ironically there was a hole that I slipped into, and POW. I slid on the ground. The walkers did not stop. I am sore, but I will run tomorrow.

My little people rock. I love them that much.

Tomorrow I will eat cake with my little people, and some awesome friends; a little pinwheel and mumso cake.

words out on school

The first school term is almost over. We have both survived. Keely has passed with flying colours. She has done more than what I would have ever expected. School mum me, is not passing. I however have mastered the lunchbox, but I am still turning up to school pick up with a naked child, no shoes for myself, and at times no bra. I must be that mum that looks completely flustered each time I turn up. There have been days where I have turned up and thought I was completely awesome, and with my own personal view on passing the school mum test. Those days are the ones I forget, and the ones I remember are the days that make me giggle inside. I am not cut out to be a school mum, but I am loving every moment of the chaos.

Keely will be rocking some vacation care next week. I have put her into two days. We unfortunately missed out on the zoo day, but she will be catching a ferry, and having a day with some clowns, and no doubt coming home with her face painted.

This year is flying. My little girl is reading, she is interested in words everywhere; street signs, cafe signs, words in magazines, words in books, and how to write words. Keely writes a whole birthday card, and she even wants to write her own books.

Words are everything to me. Arranged in a certain way, or said in a certain way they become everything to someone else. They are everything to Keely.

how to relax

I do not know how to relax. My head ticks over all the time with thoughts, ideas, and life in general. I cannot sit still. It is like I have ants in my pants. I had a busy weekend, and a busy week last week. I do seem to find the time to sit and enjoy coffee. I make that time. Maybe that is my relaxation time. Although during that time I am people watching, taking things in, and thinking about what I could be doing if I was not sitting enjoying my coffee. I believe the only time that I am relaxed is when I run. I feel nothing when I run. I feel free, and completely relaxed in my whole mind and body.

A girlfriend said to me on Sunday that I should not do the housework, I should sit and watch a midday movie, or lay down for a bit. I don't do that. I am not even sure the last time I turned on the television for me. It is stuck on ABC kids. I stopped watching flick fridays, and if I did I would watch them on the computer and do work at the same time. I clearly need some relaxation coaching; to be taught how to lay like broccoli, and just be.

I did manage to pick up my book. The book that has been sitting beside my bed for weeks now, along with the pile of unread books, and magazines. I am in need of some chill time. Some "just be" time, with no thoughts, but the pictures I imagine in my head of the book I am reading.

Time to be a book worm again. Time to relax. I will wait until this week is over. For now I need to run. And run to deal with my mum's approaching birthday.

How do you put your tools down, and relax? Do you get this time to just be, or are you like me and trying to fit a 30 hour day into a 24 hour day? I know women that have a massage or a facial every week; are you that disciplined in the relaxation area?

For the record, I read 5 pages of my book, and then I had an invitation for a coffee. I went for the coffee! {And I clearly wasted time to relax by setting up the image of myself pretending to read my book}!

wallpaper me

I have a love of floral shirts. Like the floral shirt you have just peeled off your wallpaper wall. There is something about wearing vintage, or something that looks vintage. A piece of clothing that has a story to tell, even though it is this seasons florals.

I now have four shirts that I love, and even a dress with patchwork florals and lace. I don't do dresses, but I will be do the one I bought. And I will rock the wallpaper me this winter. Nice to add some colour to your personal wall.

Florals are the new black. They are my new black.

forest the racehorse

Forest is back. She is back and running faster than she was before. I am meant to be running every 3rd day and still rockin' the boot for the next 2 weeks at least. But the rebel in me, and the obsessed runner has ran 5 days in a row and kicked the boot the last 3 days. I know what some of you might be thinking. {No lectures allowed}!

I road run. I am allowed to road run. I place that music in my ears and I dance with two feet. I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life, and I dance alone. I dance with my little people, and my friends, but this happiness is me. I did this. I built myself to be who I am today. I had pieces put back by friends, by strangers, and by my little people. I was the one that put the puzzle together. I am happy. I still feel a little lonely, but I think that is very normal. And it is only natural to want to dance with someone when I feel so groovy!

I need this right now. I am feeling it. I am feeling my body say yes. I have knocked 3 minutes off my personal best. I am running like a racehorse straight from saltwater pool training. Every bit of pain associated with my mum's birthday approaching has gone. Every bit of awesome is being processed. I feel I was born to run. And when it hurts or feels good again, I run. I put those legs to work.

I am listening to my body, and my physiotherapist. I am being guided through this. And I feel awesome; all kinds of awesome.

enjoy your weekend!

essential baby trumpet

Time to blow my own trumpet. I am not one to play it, but I was told last night by two women that it is time to play the tune. Time to be proud of myself, and to share my interview on essential baby.

This is huge for me. This is a big pat on the back, and it personally could not have come at a better time with my business turning two this month.

There is all kinds of awesome happening to me. And like I have said lately, this is the year of opportunities for me.

Doing a little happy dance right now... actually I am doing a HUGE crazy dance!