Most of us like to have a drop of an alcoholic drink at times, and unfortunately there are some that like to have a whole lot more than they should. My brother is one of them.
My brother is an alcoholic.
He is having a really hard time. Attempted suicide twice in the past 4 months. A cry for help. But won't accept the right help, or admit there is an issue. I have done some reading over the years to see what I can do. And there is nothing more I can do.
My brother was sent to rehab, and detox after being in trouble with the law. It was either that or jail. He mixed with the wrong crowd in there, and the first day of weekend free time, he went to the pub with a few of the other recovering alcoholics. He was kicked out on the street.
I am proud of my brother for building a life for himself after being kicked out, but the drink turned into the same story as we have all read as a family over the years. My mum was his lifeline. He worked for her, and was drinking, but never enough for him to hurt himself or others. When mum passed away, a part of my brother died too.
I love my brother. I care about him. And I am lost in what to do next. He has no home. He has no rental reference. He is violent when he drinks. I cannot put myself, and more importantly my children at risk.
How do you help someone that does not want to be helped. How do you make them go and get the help they need. How do you show someone that you love them without holding their hand all the time?
I told him I love him. I told him I am here for him. But I don't know if that is enough.
How do you help an alcoholic that does not want to be helped. How do you help a family of 3 that has completely fallen apart from the loss of their mum. How do I keep the promise I made to my mum to hold us together when they don't want to be held together?
A new year and so many questions, and questions that may have no answer. Maybe the answer has already been said. Maybe I have done all I can. I just don't want disappointment from the promise I made to my mum.
We all walk in a different direction.
*I do apologise if this post is a bit full on. It is full on. It is scary. But posting this might help someone else in some way, or it might help me find the answer. That is the beautiful thing about writing. You get it out. You see what you feel in words, and sometimes the words are not as messy as you believed they were in your head.