the woman in the book

When one turns a page you see more words. You hope for a happy ending. And sometimes when you turn that page it is blank, and all you see is one side with the words, 'chapter,' and a new number.

I turned the page, and I cannot believe I saw the words, 'chapter,' again. The anxiety has risen, and I have had two days of feeling like I need to have some retail therapy. I tried that, didn't feel it, and decided to rock the hairdressers instead. Some women shop, some buy magazines, some hang with girlfriends, some eat way too much chocolate, and I get my hair done. And I walk out with my hair wet. (My choice). I clearly am not following the sad lady at the hairdressers code of conduct..... Oh and I go home, instead of going out, looking awesome, feeling awesome. I wear sweatpants, and my chucks. I turn on Sex and The City.

There are times when you need to turn that page, take a deep breath, and remember that there are things you cannot control. Letting that part go, will take you to more pages covered in words. And some are lucky to find that page with the happy ending.

I bought a reading chair to sit in. I bought this chair to remind me to stop, sit, just be, and to turn those pages in. I am happy to be there and read those words for a long time. I don't want this book to end. I know there will be more chapters, more empty pages, but a life without words, and a book that ends, is not the life I would like to live.

I have started the new chapter of single parenting.