mum moments in the raw

Today wraps up a week of raw moments. The moments will not stop. They will always be there. This is part of being a parent. I am learning and I have learnt. I am sure I will continue to be hard on myself and have moments of despair. But I will continue to write and talk to other parents. I have found this very helpful. It has given me more an understanding about life as a mum, and how normal I am, and how normal other mums are. We are all trying to do the best we can. We are succeeding more then we will ever give ourselves credit for. To get rid of the guilt will be hard. I think I will have days where it is not here at all, and then there will be days where I am facing it head on. The main thing is to keep going. Keep remembering what is important to me, and to all of us; our little people are it.

The day was pretty good. I accomplished a lot in those small amount of hours we have in our days. I even got to play with friends. I had mummy and Keely time. I had a walk; even if it was a walk to the shops, it was a walk, and time to just be with myself and my thoughts. I had the ipod going with a bit of thriller. Oh please tell me I am not the only one that wants to walk in the middle of the road and bust out some thriller moves. That is the vision I had in my head; me and a bunch of other women and men holding up the traffic and groovin' to Michael Jackson. I love that song.

The house was vacuumed. Dishes were done. The washing pile is sky high in my room. There are no clean sheets on the bed this week. The toothpaste is almost out. The toilet paper is finished, and it is replaced with baby wipes until I shop with the car tomorrow. What ever happened to the two pack of toilet rolls? One has to walk home with a six pack. I opted for the kleenex flush-able wipes; they fitted in my bag. Baked beans for dinner and toast for the little ones, vege curry for myself. Little people asleep in my bed tonight. Trying to get Taj out of his wake at 9pm habit. Maybe he will stay alseep if he knows he is not alone and has Keely to snuggle up to. They fell asleep giggling and snuggled right up against each other. One can only hope.

There is a balance we have as parents. One that we all try to work out. Some of us nail it and have it figured out. I know for me mine is on a rocking scale. One moment I have it all worked out, and it can change in an instant. I go with the flow. I think I lost my flow for a few weeks, and now I am getting it back. My flow is up and down. I have to accept that somedays will be easier then the next. There will be days where nothing gets done around the house, I will yell at the little people, and I will be hard on myself. This does not make me a bad mum. This is just life. It is being a parent.

I will continue to support other mothers, and their parenting styles. I will also continue to be a bit more understanding of the ups and downs of being a mum. Try to be kinder to myself. And most of all be there for my little people. It won't hurt to have that sky high pile of clean washing in my room. At least I enjoyed my little people today.

mum moments in the raw

i planned to do a blog post on my raw moment day, but it is a little hard with one hand, and the camera is in the lounge room with fresh images on it. taj is sleeping on me. a habit. yes i think it might be. keely sleeps at her daddy's on a saturday and i know taj misses her. he will be reunited with her in the morning.

motherhood never goes according to plan. i was in the middle of packing orders, now i sit with a sleeping boy on me. (a smirk grows on my face). maybe i am meant to sit, watch a movie and cuddle my boy. tonight i will listen to him and just be.

mum moments in the raw

Today I am tired. It is flick friday. Time for my chick flick, and my glass of wine.

It was a great day. I broke outside my regular morning routine, and did something different with Taj. I had a bit of photography work to do and he came a long for the ride. It was in Manly, so we snuck in an awesome waffle and coffee from Barefoot.

I find if I do not get out of my routines I become lazy. It is easier for me to go to the beach with my little people. In summer that is all I do. Actually in winter it is all I did too. My sandcastle skills rock. I am really good at building really big castles, big enough for all three of us to stomp, slide and crush down on. I am really brown. Someone asked if I went on a summer holiday. This must be my winter tan. My brother used to call me choccie as a little kid as I was so brown. I think that nickname will be returning this summer.

I have to say all this thinking and writing of my day and how things were with my little people, with me, with mothers and children around me, I really am looking at parenting in a whole new light. I am becoming a lot easier on myself. I am not so upset that there is a whole new basket of clean clothes in my bedroom. I am more accepting at the fact these really are small parts of my life. Yes we need clean clothes. And we have them. They are just sitting in the basket. Plus honestly they have so many clothes from Little Pinwheel, there are enough in their cupboards!

I am not perfect. I want to be perfect. I want to be this amazing and inspirational mother and person for my little people. I want to be so much more to them. I am learning that to them I am. They do not see the dirty dishes and the bits on the floor. They see their mum running around them. They need to see me play with them. Be there with them. This is what they see, and this is what I have been trying to do all week. I know I will get there. I will be so much more to them. And to myself. It is about finding my balance as a mother, as a woman and a working mum.

I know how to get more balance, but I need more time in the day. Can someone please invent that so I can get these jobs done that will in turn make my life a little less chaotic. (This is when I can see you all nodding, and wanting more time too).

Being a little naughty and watching movie on computer so I can multi task. I have chocolate.

bot bot toilet training

He has got it. Taj has clicked with the wee wee. He knows the feeling now when he needs to go. We did a bit of no nappy yesterday. Today I think we will do the same. I will watch him over the next few days and see if we might run the gauntlet and switch to knickers.

It is kind of exciting. Acutally it is very exciting. I have no fear of the poo. I have no fear of the wee. Accidents will happen. I had a poo log in the middle of the lounge room floor yesterday. I have no doubt it won't be the last.

Each milestone is exciting with little people, even the ones that some parents fear. I have his knickers ready to go. They are actually nappy pants from the Ada Ada summer range. I ordered a heap for Taj. They are super soft, really little for his cute bottom, and actually fit him. Other brands will not fit that little bot bot, (aka bottom).

This is how Taj sits on the toilet.

mum moments in the raw

It is 7:42pm and I have just snuck out of the bedroom. A hard night to get Taj to sleep. These nights do not come around very often, but when they do I go into a detective mode. I try to think like the pink panther and figure out how I can get out without him knowing. I fail every time. The only time I succeed is when he actually falls asleep. I honestly just had the eye of the tiger tune playing in my head as I made for my escape.

Overall today was pretty awesome. I made banana muffins today as a treat for the little people. I over cooked them a little, not burnt, just a little dry. It is the thought that counts. They had one each. The rest are in the bin. There was some negotiations with Keely in the afternoon, which were not too painful; there was a dry muffin to help. Taj decided that he would do no nappy quite a bit today. I was up for it. A bit of a go with the flow day. Poo on the carpet. Wee right next to it, and this mum does not even care. I never cared with Keely either. Better then picking up dog poo.

Motherhood has its ups and downs. I am riding the wave today and not feeling one bit guilty for the mess that is around me. I am learning to clear the guilt. I am tired and listening to the fact that I am tired. I played mum the whole day, and it felt awesome. They completely had me. I think that is why I am so tired.

rock on taj

Taj is going great guns. He is now saying four word sentences. He hears me. Completely hears everything I say. After his operation it all clicked for him. His whole world came alive. It blossomed. He blossomed. The specialist said he would be a new boy. Better.

Taj has to wear silicon plugs when he has a bath. He lets me put them in. He helps me take them out. Instantly he accepted the fact he had to wear these while being in water. He understood.

My little Taj is better. He is incredible. I love him so much.

mum moments in the raw

Do you have moments where you click? Where you become some kind of machine. One similar to Rosie from the Jetsons. That was me this morning. Off I went powering around the whole house like some kind of crazy hoover. Everything was getting packed away. Clean dishes gone. Clean washing folded and gone. Toys gone. Dirty dishes done.

I have moments like this every now and then. The now and the then have been far between. I truly have become stuck in a rut. It did not help that I had the place bombed for cockies and I had piles of washing to do. Not just any washing either. It was pretty much my whole linen cupboard full of washing. Think sheets. Lots of sheets. They had decided to nest in there.... ewww, chills! The good news is with me in Rosie mood I whizzed around doing all those suck chores.

I have since added to the empty basket, and placed clean washing in it this afternoon. It is back in my room, in its corner. I am not sure when it will be packed away. One can only hope that I have a Rosie moment tomorrow.

The only time I got a little flustered today was just before five as I waited in line with two very hungry little people in the post office. I had a parcel to pick up. There was no waiting until tomorrow. This item had to be taken home, wrapped and posted the same day. A little over an hour to get them fed, and back to the post office.

I quite like a challenge, and if I can involve them along the way it becomes a game. I of course bribed them with a banana muffin each for dessert. Come on as if I could have dragged them to the yellow box at that time of their day without a kid reason. I never thought I would be the bribing parent. I have since learnt we all do it. Not always with food treats of course, but we all do it in some kind of word phrasing way. A way that obviously sees them coming out on top. When of course we are the ones winning.

I must have looked stressed in the post office. Maybe it was the beads of sweat running down my face. Maybe it was the 4.5 year old running around the shop, while the 2 year old is screaming in my arms to run around with his sister. I sucked it up. I could feel the eyes on the back of my head. The postman gave them both stamps. Both hands. A lady told me she felt for me. She had two at home. She was the one I could feel cuddling me in silence. Rock on supporting mum.

She even said, "mummy deserves wine!"

No wine in the house. Seriously when is someone going to create a business that home delivers wine, and chocolate.

Two little people asleep after saying goodnight well over 20 times. No bath. No brushed teeth.