The last blog post. You would think I wouldn't really know what to say, and you would actually be right. How do you say thank you to people you do not even know. How do you thank people for reading your words to help you through moments in your life. To say thank you for coming along for the ride of my life.
When I think about the book I would like to write, I think about the things I have learnt in life, and truly they are the same lessons we all learn. The past few weeks I have stared at this blog, and thought really hard about what I wanted to write, and share. The thing is, I have had nothing. What am I going to say when everything is just like your own personal day? I get up with little people, either already asleep in my bed with their cute noses squished right into my face, or buried into my chest, or I hear the tip toes of little feet before the sun kisses the ocean. I rise as bubbly as possible. (You cannot help but wear a smile instantly, little people have that affect on you). I make us all breakfast, shower, rock the school lunch, clean up, I might throw on some washing, and then I tackle the little people. They play around the chaos, and then we roll with the dressing, brushing our chops, and rock it off to school. I will run, come home and play superman into lady threads, go to barefoot for my daily caffeine, and people watching. Pack orders, answer emails, go home for computer work, lunch, and go back for more orders, and the school pickup. Then comes the dinner routine.
Are you bored yet?
Cause I think that would be my posts if I stuck around here. I am just like you. I now have a "normal" life. With minimal struggles. Just the everyday stuff and things we all have. I have the everyday mother moments, business moments, however I no longer have the inner struggles. I am truly happy. No one wants to hear all awesome. It is not as intriguing. I just become your everyday groundhog day blogger. And I don't want to be that. I am not her. I am no vege growing, awesome mum, with the perfect house, and husband. {I sometimes wish I was her}! I am just me, growing orchids, some succulents, (some of which are not looking so crash hot), with two little people, and my own personal ability to run, and juggle a business at the same time. I am the woman that does not have the husband, that would love nothing more than to have someone to love. However I am also happy rolling with solo, until of course the home becomes silent with sleeping little people, and I feel somewhat alone again. I also believe that is life. We all become lonely at times, and it can even be those of you that have the husband or the companion. That is life.
So the book. That book I will one day write, be it for me, or for you. It will be about the journey of becoming more. Using those things in life that I have learnt, accepting this lady that I am, accepting the stolen child innocence, giving back to those who also have a stolen childhood, running for so much more than just me. It is about running towards something, no longer running away. You can throw grief at me, you can throw abuse, and I will find my way out.
I believe the grief out of anything in my life has been the hardest to bare. To lose my mother was something that almost tore me apart. I stood on my own day after day in the same spot. Staring at the ocean, and wanting her to come back. I wanted to jump in the ocean, and swim, and swim until I could no longer swim. Sink. Right to the bottom, and have my mum back. To be in that dark place, and to come out of it with a positive spin on life is something I would love to give back. So this lady is going to live her groundhog life, with her little people, her friends, her running legs, businesses, and live it our way, with our cards held close to my chest.
If you see us, come and say hi. You know I am Hayley, not just the little pinwheel lady, or the lady pinwheel. I am me too!
The images that Lisa took, I believe sum us up. Lisa captured the real us. The personalities shine through, and to have these candid images of the three of us is something I will cherish forever. Lisa captured the opening of a new book. I cannot wait to have her back next year. To see what life we have written in these pages of our lives. {check out what Lisa had to say here}
I am a motherless daughter. I am a survivor of sexual abuse, a runner, and I am one awesome single mother that tells her story through words, images, and the smiles on her little people's faces. That is me.
Rock your day. Rock your life, and come and say hi over at the new blog when it is ready. I have changed the new blog. Having one built for me. I will share it here once it is finished.
{this school holidays Keely and I are going to make a vege garden on our balcony. I too can be the mum blogger with the vege patch in my own way! Yesterday I started my straight teeth smile. Life is pretty awesome}!
take care, and rock on! x
