running saved my life

I have things growing in my fridge. Yes, I am that awesome person that leaves stuff and things in the fridge, forgets about them, and then freaks out when I see things growing on the stuff. I am that awesome person that leaves it in there, pushes something in front of it, and forgets about the stuff a little bit more. Just long enough for the stuff to have the things, and for me to completely freak, and throw the whole container away.

All things have a used by date. I believe that as we enter new phases, or as I like to say, chapters, in our lives we start to have our own stuff growing on the things.

Confusing you yet?

I have found my whole life has made this complete change. I think it is this freaking awesome feeling of happiness I have, and knowing a little of where I want to go with it. I have dreams, and aspirations, as we all do. I am living some of those dreams, and aspiring to make these dreams a whole lot better.

This blog was my space to let it all out. It was a way I got through different parts of my life. I used written words to help me through my abuse, the loss of my mum, and the loss of my marriage. In the background, through all of this, I was pounding the pavement, and running. I have been a runner for myself from the moment I realised that I was being abused by my father. This was my way of dealing with it, processing it, and punishing myself. I would excessively run. I was also suffering from the eating disorder at the same time. It really was a dark time in my late teenage life. But, it saved my life.

Running saved my life.

I continued to run on and off. When I lost mum, I used the written word to survive. I found the writing was not enough, so the pounding started again. More and more, I would run.

Running saved my life.

Now, with all the changes, with my own personal growth. With the loss of every one of my family members, and gaining a whole lot more family through friends, and of course my little people, I started to run for more. Running became more than a life saver. It became my feeling of freedom. It has become a feeling of flight. I have always wanted to fly. Spread those wings, and fly to freedom.

Now, I fly. No longer are the words saving me. No longer do they need to save me. I run for a whole lot more. I don't need saving. I am free.

I will continue to blog, but the posts might be further apart. The words that I used to type have started to grow stuff and things, and reached their used by date. Time to throw the whole container out. And write a whole new chapter.

I cannot wait to believe in myself a whole lot more. To make something of those legs that are working hard for the next race. This is the beginning for me. At 34 I have found my thing. {My mum used to say to me a lot, it was never too late to be somebody. You just had to believe in yourself..... now I need to believe I can fly when I run}.

Welcome to a whole new chapter of stuff and things. The new growth.